I am struggling with maintaining friendships in my life. It’s hard to admit, because one of the things I pride my self on focusing on is friendships… but lately, it’s been very difficult. I feel like I'm not doing a very good job. I'm drowning actually.
When I was working fulltime, I didn’t have much time for friendships. I had a few very close friends, a few online friends, but most of my focus was spent on my family. It was all I could do to get up in the morning, get the kid ready, haul myself into work and then get home, cook dinner, play with my kid and manage life. Weekends were all about decompressing and catching up. Preparing the soul for another week in the rat race. Truthfully, with regards to friendships, life was simpler then.
When I stopped working and Dinara and Noah were settled, my friendship circle started expanding. Since I was going through a lot with the adoption, weightloss surgery, hysterectomy, building a house, etc… I still didn’t have too much time to focus on adding to my friendships. I gathered a few new friends, but didn’t feel too much stress trying to maintain those relationships. And most them were other adoptive families or infertile couples and they totally got the whole “life in a state of flux” thing.
Last year, things started to change and my friendship circles have exponentially increased. Although I am loathing admitting it, I think people find me more approachable thinner. I also became more active in my children’s school and took up several new hobbies. So there were more friends. More circles. More contacts. Now Dinara is in Kindergarten and I’m on the executive board of the PTA and our social opportunities have exploded. And I have met some incredible people…. But what do I do with them all?
And truthfully, there are several I think I would really like to develop deeper friendships with… there are a couple I really “click” with and I am excited about. But truthfully…who the hell has time to add more?
God, I hate writing that…because friendship is like love right? It’s infinite. I have the capacity to love infinitely… but I don’t have the capacity to maintain. Who wrote this equation?
If every friend expects to talk to you once a week for 20 mins…then when does that happen exactly? God forbid they want to see you regularly. And add into that the time demands of family. Talking on the phone to sisters, mothers, cousins, grandparents. Then add in social engagements. Kids lessons. PTA. Girl Scouts. Cleaning. Laundry. Managing life. Maintaining a part time job….. the list is endless folks.
Uh… how do you people do it? And more importantly, how do you people communicate it to your friends? How do you communicate to people that they are friends, but don’t expect too much?
Am I weird? Am I the only one that struggles with this stuff?
When I was working fulltime, I didn’t have much time for friendships. I had a few very close friends, a few online friends, but most of my focus was spent on my family. It was all I could do to get up in the morning, get the kid ready, haul myself into work and then get home, cook dinner, play with my kid and manage life. Weekends were all about decompressing and catching up. Preparing the soul for another week in the rat race. Truthfully, with regards to friendships, life was simpler then.
When I stopped working and Dinara and Noah were settled, my friendship circle started expanding. Since I was going through a lot with the adoption, weightloss surgery, hysterectomy, building a house, etc… I still didn’t have too much time to focus on adding to my friendships. I gathered a few new friends, but didn’t feel too much stress trying to maintain those relationships. And most them were other adoptive families or infertile couples and they totally got the whole “life in a state of flux” thing.
Last year, things started to change and my friendship circles have exponentially increased. Although I am loathing admitting it, I think people find me more approachable thinner. I also became more active in my children’s school and took up several new hobbies. So there were more friends. More circles. More contacts. Now Dinara is in Kindergarten and I’m on the executive board of the PTA and our social opportunities have exploded. And I have met some incredible people…. But what do I do with them all?
And truthfully, there are several I think I would really like to develop deeper friendships with… there are a couple I really “click” with and I am excited about. But truthfully…who the hell has time to add more?
God, I hate writing that…because friendship is like love right? It’s infinite. I have the capacity to love infinitely… but I don’t have the capacity to maintain. Who wrote this equation?
If every friend expects to talk to you once a week for 20 mins…then when does that happen exactly? God forbid they want to see you regularly. And add into that the time demands of family. Talking on the phone to sisters, mothers, cousins, grandparents. Then add in social engagements. Kids lessons. PTA. Girl Scouts. Cleaning. Laundry. Managing life. Maintaining a part time job….. the list is endless folks.
Uh… how do you people do it? And more importantly, how do you people communicate it to your friends? How do you communicate to people that they are friends, but don’t expect too much?
Am I weird? Am I the only one that struggles with this stuff?
