The Extraordinary Mundane

The new site!!

2005-01-30T11:51:00.000-08:00

My last blogger post!
Come join me over on my new website: exmundane.com!!!

And how was your morning?

2005-01-29T13:19:00.000-08:00

The morning run down:

Get up.
Consider exercising… but decide to skip it.
Drink lots of coffee.
Make the kids breakfast.
Drink more coffee.
Go out to the garage and find the new pretty Costco wrapping paper.
Find scotch tape.
Find scissors.
Now wrap the presents.
Exclaim with glee how Costco’s wrapping paper has cutting guides printed on the back of the paper and it’s not cheap paper that rips when you cut it.
Send youngest into the playroom to pick up his mess.
Send two girls up to make homemade birthday cards because I’m too cheap to buy cards.
Listen to older child lose complete patience with younger child for not following her instructions.
Instruct older child to practice grace, patience and control her emotions.
Assume she doesn’t get the message when she yells “alrighty then!” and closes her bedroom door a bit too loudly.
Mutter under my breath and try to control my emotions.
Drink more coffee.
Make Bed.
Take a hot shower.
Linger in shower relishing the peace.
Till youngest comes in and asks for a glass of juice.
Reminds him to go clean the playroom.
Dress the kid that has TWO birthday parties to go this afternoon.
Console older kid who laments not being invited to as many birthday parties as younger kid.
Talk to older child about being a good friend so people want to invite you to their parties.
Tie in the whole slamming door drama and how that is NOT a way to do it.
Go check on playroom progress.
Instruct youngest child on why there are bins for different toys and why we don’t just dump everything into whatever bin is closest.
Praise youngest for his sorting ability.
Drink more coffee.
Work with hubby on tweaking the new blog website. We are almost done!
Ask husband to please take over the parenting while I go take a few minutes on the computer.
Email friend who is in the adoption process and having to deal with a family member who assures her that she will not love her adopted child as much as her bio child. *sigh*
Write this blog post....
Write Errands List

Errands that need done today:
Drop kid off at party
Go to Walgreens
Pick up bread at the bakery
Go to bank to make deposit
Run by post office
Run by Target to restock the present bin in the closet
Pick kid up and take her next party.

Going Oprah

2005-01-28T09:54:00.000-08:00

Pardon me while I go all Oprah for a moment. It's time for some introspection and evaluation. I need some guiding principles... so this is my first stab.

1. I resolve to focus on things that have lasting importance to me.
2. I resolve to create cherishable things for my children.
3. I resolve to work on projects that nourish my spirit.
4. I resolve to let go of relationships that drain me.
5. I resolve to practice gratitude.
6. I resolve to spend more snuggle time with my kids.
7. I resolve to bring more romance into my marriage.
8. I resolve to define what fulfillment means to me.
9. I resolve to let the people who are important to me know it.
10. I resolve to savor the serenity of my daily life instead of trying to fill it up with things that aren’t important to me.

I have incredible focus when I set my mind to things and I know it’s time for a bit of a shakeup in my life. I’m hoping that these resolutions will help guide me over the coming months as I institute some changes and shift some priorities.

Popular Girls Don't Wear Mismatched Clothes

2005-01-27T10:17:00.000-08:00

Today was Clash Day at school. Emma, my second grader, was up at 6:30 full of enthusiasm picking out her outfit. Dinara, our Kindergarten fashion plate was mortified that there was a day dedicated to schoolwide mismatched fashion.

Who would want to not wear clothes that match? Dinara looked at me with inquisitive angst.

Emma replied, “I do! It’s Clash Day Dinara. Go pick out your clothes!”

Dinara sighed. “I do not want to play this game. I don’t get it. Why would anyone want to go to school ugly?”

“Because it’s fun Dinara. And everyone is going to be doing it.” Emma said as she put on striped leggings and pulled a printed skort over them.

”Being ugly is not fun Emma. You should not want to be ugly just because everyone else is doing it. Popular girls are not ugly.”

Part of me rejoiced in her confidence in not following the crowd and conforming for conforming’s sake. The other part of me winced because she had already figured out in her short 6 months in school that popular girls are pretty.

PTA Nomination Committee Questions?

2005-01-26T09:51:00.000-08:00

Tonight I have to interview potential PTA board candidates. I’m trying to think of a politically correct ways to ask:

Are you all talk and no action?
Are you commitment phobic?
When you have a problem, can you communicate the issue without whining?
Do you answer your emails if people ask you a direct question?
Do you think everyone who doesn’t agree with you is against you?
Can you motivate people to do things for you with no incentives?
Do you use the words "thank you for helping" regularly?
Can you disagree with someone and smile at the same time?
Will you bring homemade cookies to the PTA meetings?

Yes. I take my job seriously folks.

Wishful Theory

2005-01-25T10:08:00.000-08:00

Ok... so if grease spatters continue to build up on my stove then all the other spatters that are adhered to the stove should just slide off the oiled surface when I clean it right?

Don't you wish this was one of those theories that would prove true?

Mommy Syndrome: Going Soft

2005-01-24T11:12:00.000-08:00

So there’s this woman on the PTA who chairs a program underneath my VP area. We got off to a bad start at the beginning of the year. Without going into the whole saga, let’s just leave it that her behavior was inappropriate. And involved choice words. And loud voices. And me reminding her that I was a volunteer too and wasn’t being paid to put up with being treated in this manner. It was not fun. Since that time, I have made huge efforts to try to be “nice. And I have seen fruits of this labor. Things are much better between us and not as strained. But let’s be honest. We both haven’t forgotten the beginning of the year.

Well here we are again with another issue. Last night before my date night, she called and for 30 minutes, in a much more civil manner, went on about honesty, being appreciated, being sabotaged, etc. She feels like whenever someone doesn’t agree with something it’s personal and she feels unsupported. I listened. I validated and truthfully, I just didn’t get into it with her. I presented different points of view, but I didn’t go back and needle down and correct flawed points in her idea of history. Slap the sticker on my forhead: I’m weary.

I think I am losing my touch.

When I was working, I didn’t mind confrontation. In fact, I’d go so far as to say I thrived on it. Problem needed solving? People disagreed? I loved trying to figure out a solution. Office politics? I was a master. People came to me for advice. Now… not so much. Now I just want everyone to play nice and not hate my guts. What the hell is happening to me? Is this a stay at home mommy syndrome? Am I going soft?

Although I am glad that our little conversation didn’t escalate, I didn’t communicate the things that I needed to. Why? Because well, I just didn’t feel like dealing. She’d get pissed and I just don’t want to put in the effort to smooth it all over. Yes that’s my job. I know that. That’s why I feel a bit guilty. Is putting this off and seeing if it will resolve on it’s own mean I’m a slacker?

Actually this whole mess is made worse because I really try to avoid confrontations period. But by not having confrontations…. She is still living in the fantasy world that her way of thinking is right. And history has shown, that I have to spell out every little detail with her, and not leave any conclusions to come to using intuition or perception. Cause that just isn’t her strength.

There is a chance that this issue will resolve itself over the next week. That she’ll still live with the wrong idea of history and not like me much…but I wont have to get into it with her and life will go on. It’s only a few more months. What do I care if her perception of history is off?

So now I must decide… do I just let it go? Or do I call her this week and delve back into it. Part of me thinks that time may work this out. That confrontation may bring about a quicker resolution, but at a higher price. So maybe I am not going soft after all. Maybe maturity is just teaching me a thing or two about the cost of instant gratification.

Weekend Bliss

2005-01-23T13:35:00.000-08:00

I am about to top off a really nice weekend. Here's what my Sunday looks like today:

My kitchen is sparkling clean.
I have done 2 loads of laundry.
I talked to my sister for an hour and half.
My kids are all playing at the neighbors and hubby is at work finishing up some stuff.
I have a babysitter coming over at 2pm.
Hubby and I are catching a movie.
Perhaps maybe do a little shopping.
Then share a romantic meal.
We’ll then come home, bathe the kids, and get them to bed.
Then watch Extreme Home Makeover and Desperate Housewives from the comfort of our bed snuggled under the down comforter. Hubba Hubba.

Bliss yes?

Porting over

2005-01-23T09:19:00.000-08:00

Just to you know, we are having trouble with the transfer of my blog. Seems it keeps dying after about only FTPing 40%! Anyway... the blog loses it's format when we are in this process... so if you visit over the next several days and it's not formatted, that is why. We are going to try doing it in the middle of the night..but last night's didn't work either so who knows....

Evaluating Relationships

2005-01-22T13:57:00.000-08:00

I agreed with most of the advice I got on my friendships post the other day. Theory is always great, but putting it to practice is hard. The general concensus was that I need to prioritize my relationships and cut the dead weight from my life. I’ve thought about this a lot. I think that part of the problem is that I don't come to this cut decision quick enough. I am very slow to do that with my friendships. If a person has the slightest interest for me, I want to explore all their layers and THEN make a determination. I have trouble making the determination before all the results are in. Like everyone, I am in search of the holy grail of friends. And I want to know every facet of someone before I make the decision to cut and move on. And, I also have to do this exploration before they see the real me. So it's a complicated dance. And it's so rare I don't find something wonderful in someone I want to explore more...so how can I let them go? And so I get lost in the no man's land of "potential". So maybe I need a new way to evaluate relationships? I mean I do evaluate them, I guess maybe it's just not an effective process.

For example, there are the people I keep around me just because they push the envelope. They take me to the edges of my personality where I don’t often venture. Problem is - there is a reason I don’t venture there much. Rarely are these people pushing me to the good “extreme” side of my personality. I do have a very dark side… and I have learned how to be more moderate. But the edges are fun. I love being at the extremes. But the extremes usually aren’t good for me. Do I cut these people? I hate to because they meet the need of adventure in my life.

And then there are the relationships that inspire me or push me to be a better person. Or to grow. They help me to look at things a different way then I might normally view them. They offer me a different perspective. Many of these relationships are with people who have very different ideologies then my own. But I love when I learn from them. I don’t have to adopt their ideologies to learn from them and adapt their knowledge into something I can use. I love the diversity, even though moderating myself to them is often exhausting. Many times being around them is draining because I can not feel “real”. But they bring me gifts and help me to learn. I don’t want to cut them from my life because they educate me.

And then there the relationships that are similar in life experience. These are people who have gone through weight loss surgery, massive reconstructive plastic surgery, or international adoption, are dealing with aging parents, are online friends, or are parents of young children. I keep them around me because they can stand behind me and support me and tell me “yes, you are normal”. These friendships by and large are fairly easy to compartmentalize because there is only one thing that binds us together. I like having these people in my life because they validate me.

And then there are the relationships that are in the “could have potential” stage. The only reason they aren’t elevated to the full blown friend status is because I haven’t had the chance to sit down and psycho analyze their potential yet. Let’s face it; you have to get to a certain point with someone before they will let you ask the deep probing questions that allow you to peel back the layers. And yet I can't get to the holy grail of frienships without seeing someone's core. These relationships I keep and maintain because they offer incredible potential.

And then there are the relationships that fulfill me. There aren’t many of these. After they have come through the “could have potential stage” these are people I trust enough to share my secrets. These are the rare people who give to me more then they get. They offer me many gifts on many levels. They are not needy. They do not push my buttons. We click. I trust them. Usually in some way, they meet every other friendship compartment - good and bad. They have stood the test of time. These are the friends I can be very real with and I aspire to surround myself with them. I’ve been fortunate enough to have a few of these types of friends sprinkled across my life. They are the holy grail of friends.

So what do I learn from this? I dunno. But writing it out helps me get my mind around it.

Caloric Karma

2005-01-21T13:42:00.000-08:00

I think my eat everything you want because you have a get out of jail free card has an expiration date. I think I’m going to have to start watching what I eat like a normal person. This is not happy news.

This weight loss surgery I had has been amazing. For the last almost three years, I have been able to eat ANYTHING and still lose weight and maintain the loss. For instance, when I found out that I had a grapefruit sized tumor on my ovary and my cancer blood test was very elevated… I did what any overweight compulsive over eater would do. I ate. And I ate A LOT. They operated on my stomach and intestines but the fat wench with no self-control is still alive and kicking. No lobotomy was performed. And to put “a lot” into perspective, I was putting away ½ an Entenmanns Crumb Cake a day and STILL lost 11 lbs that month. I mean when I say I could eat ANYTHING and still lose weight. That this surgery was NIRVANA. I’m not exaggerating. Even at the pinnacle of depression, I not only maintained my weightloss without having to obsess, but actually lost more weight.

So you’ll pardon me if I gush a bit. I’m a bit like a newly Born Again Christian wanting to spread the joy. I’m like those people on the commercial.. “I lowered my cholesterol”. Yeah. I really did. And I’ll tell anyone that my cholesterol now is between 95 and 110. Amazing. And I eat eggs EVERY morning and bacon several times a week. And we won’t mention my affair with butter…. Don’t you want to just smack me into next Wednesday for being so giddy?

I still don’t absorb fat, but it does seem like my Caloric Karma might be fading fast. I’ve put on several pounds and they aren’t just dropping off like they used to. I used to bounce around in this 10 lb range. Well… I’ve bounced out of the range and seem now to have settled at what used to be the top of the range. This is scary. I need to perhaps… (gulp) … I can’t even type the word.

So now the question is…what am I going to do about it? Yeah. Well. Good question. I seriously need to get my lazy white ass some exercise. But I am LOATHE to do it. I am just not very motivated. I need me some motivation. I’m wondering if motivation comes in a 5 10, well-oiled, cabana boy type package? My financial consultant tells me that I might be able to lower my life insurance rates if get this ten pounds off… maybe money will motivate me?

Anyway… I am thinking of buying one of these. And I’m trying to cut back on my addiction to all things containing sugar.

I’ll update you in a few weeks on how I’m doing. I’m off now to go have a piece of German Chocolate Cake.

Freeze Frame

2005-01-20T11:43:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Itunes Original of Alanis’s Everything. Highly recommend it. This acoustical version of the song would be in the soundtrack of my life for sure.

Doing: Cleaning out the foundation that spilled all over the top drawer of my bathroom vanity. And while I'm there I’m organizing the makeup drawer. Organization brings me more peace and satisfaction then a normal person should admit. Since I’m not normal, I feel safe expressing it here.

Tonight: PTA board meeting. Exciting life I live eh?

Thinking about: A friend who just lost her brother this weekend. Need to send her a sympathy card.

Supper: Steak…. Hope it defrosts in time. Yes we eat a lot of meat. Yes I love steak.

Vacation dreaming: Need to finish researching options for my girls only vacation. I think we are going to go on a cruise together. Friend from college. No kids. Whoot! Also need to plan the much less exciting trip to Georgia for my college union and obligatory trip to the outlaw part of the family.

Feeling guilty about: Need to call my friend in CA who I haven't spoken to in months and who had a really rough year. I just know it's going to be hours of conversation and I haven't had a free block of time to chat.

Feeling grateful about: The way Noah was so lovey dovey this morning. I swear, I'm like a sponge soaking up that kid's love.

Time for Friendships

2005-01-19T14:08:00.000-08:00

I am struggling with maintaining friendships in my life. It’s hard to admit, because one of the things I pride my self on focusing on is friendships… but lately, it’s been very difficult. I feel like I'm not doing a very good job. I'm drowning actually.

When I was working fulltime, I didn’t have much time for friendships. I had a few very close friends, a few online friends, but most of my focus was spent on my family. It was all I could do to get up in the morning, get the kid ready, haul myself into work and then get home, cook dinner, play with my kid and manage life. Weekends were all about decompressing and catching up. Preparing the soul for another week in the rat race. Truthfully, with regards to friendships, life was simpler then.

When I stopped working and Dinara and Noah were settled, my friendship circle started expanding. Since I was going through a lot with the adoption, weightloss surgery, hysterectomy, building a house, etc… I still didn’t have too much time to focus on adding to my friendships. I gathered a few new friends, but didn’t feel too much stress trying to maintain those relationships. And most them were other adoptive families or infertile couples and they totally got the whole “life in a state of flux” thing.

Last year, things started to change and my friendship circles have exponentially increased. Although I am loathing admitting it, I think people find me more approachable thinner. I also became more active in my children’s school and took up several new hobbies. So there were more friends. More circles. More contacts. Now Dinara is in Kindergarten and I’m on the executive board of the PTA and our social opportunities have exploded. And I have met some incredible people…. But what do I do with them all?

And truthfully, there are several I think I would really like to develop deeper friendships with… there are a couple I really “click” with and I am excited about. But truthfully…who the hell has time to add more?

God, I hate writing that…because friendship is like love right? It’s infinite. I have the capacity to love infinitely… but I don’t have the capacity to maintain. Who wrote this equation?

If every friend expects to talk to you once a week for 20 mins…then when does that happen exactly? God forbid they want to see you regularly. And add into that the time demands of family. Talking on the phone to sisters, mothers, cousins, grandparents. Then add in social engagements. Kids lessons. PTA. Girl Scouts. Cleaning. Laundry. Managing life. Maintaining a part time job….. the list is endless folks.

Uh… how do you people do it? And more importantly, how do you people communicate it to your friends? How do you communicate to people that they are friends, but don’t expect too much?

Am I weird? Am I the only one that struggles with this stuff?

Alzheimer's Progression

2005-01-18T14:44:00.000-08:00

The whole progression of dementia is not how I expected it would be. I had always thought that my dad would get lost. Would forget people’s names. Would lose track of time and place. That his dementia would focus around the nouns of life. People, Places, Things. But it’s been much subtler then that.

Today my mom told me how my dad is hyper focusing on things. The biggest issue is food. Dad’s brain thinks that Slim Fast and Graham Crackers are enough to sustain him. Indefinitely. And peanut butter. And that’s all. He can be refocused, but of course that takes a lot of time and effort. And he’s not the most willing participant because he feels that he is just exerting control over the one little area he still has control over.

My kind and gentle father isn’t really kind and gentle anymore. It’s like Alzheimer’s is a big magnifying glass and magnifies all his worst traits. And it doesn’t magnify his best ones. He’s obstinate. He’s moody. He’s grumpy. And those who have to deal with him day-to-day struggle to let go of the expectations of the man he used to be. Because that man is slipping away. And it’s hard… because 50% of the time he’s still that man. But when he’s not, you are angry because why can’t he act like he used to be? Logically you understand it, but emotionally, you are still angry.

One of the big shockers is that hygiene has been one of the first things to go. Needs lots of visual cues to remember to brush his teeth. Sometimes he forgets about toilet paper. Or to wash his hands. Ewwwe. He will get in the shower but will forget to use soap while in there. So my mom has to make sure at least once a week when he’s in there he uses shampoo and soap.

He’s paranoid. He thinks everyone is out to trick him. The people who write instructions are idiots and write them in complex ways to confuse him. The government is out to poison us all with pesticides and antibiotics. Whenever people are talking on the phone they are talking about him.

My sister is living with my father to help out. And she’s about to go crazy. My dad follows her around like a lost puppy. He’s sleeping a lot, but when he’s not, he’s very needy. He makes decisions then changes his mind. He told my brother in law that he could put a carpet in the garage. Then he told him to take it out, he couldn’t. Then he told him he could. Then he said he couldn’t to take it out again. Everyone is frustrated of course. My sister says even though you know he’s sick, you still can’t help but feel angry with him because it’s all so unreasonable. And then he gets very angry, and is unable to control his temper, because no one is respecting him. He realizes that things are different and the doesn’t command any level of respect because a lot of what he is saying is nonsense. He realizes he has Alzheimer’s. But the sad part is that it’s not progressed far enough for him to not care about what people think. He is in the no man’s land of realizing that people get he’s not normal… and there is nothing he can do about it.

He hasn’t driven in 2 months. My mom said if he doesn’t drive in the next month, she’ll sell the car. Seems ridiculous to keep it. A bright blue Mustang taunts her from the drive. No longer any practicality in having it’s merely a trophy reminder of what used to be.

My parents are going on a cruise in two weeks. I strongly encouraged my mom to go. It will be a good break for everyone. She has been mourning the loss of what her retirement with my father was “going to be”. There aren’t many months left where he will be able to handle the emotional toll of being in a ‘different place’. So this is their last hurrah. So sad that it’s a last hurrah at age 61.

Life is damn good

2005-01-17T13:06:00.000-08:00

I am grateful for my life. I really think that I get so busy and so focused on always improving things that I forget to stop and savor where I am at. Life is damn good.

I have three healthy children. All fairly well behaved, smart, happy, healthy, independent and loving. I am raising thinkers. They are funny. They are smart. Each of them has their own sense of fun and humor that I enjoy so much. Each has gifts that we exploit in the universe and I am very proud of all of them. They challenge me in so many ways. I am so glad I am on this path with each of them.

I have a happy marriage. There is something to be said for security and trust. I trust my husband. He knows me completely. He grounds me. He and I make a great team. I wish we had more time for fun together, but the yang for that is that we are such great parenting partners. He adores me. He’s a rock. He takes care of me. And I so appreciate the way he balances me.

I have great friends. I can honestly say that over the past year I have grown some very good friendships. People I can depend on when the chips are down. People who will be there for me and accept me the way I am. People who bring gifts to the table, challenge me, help me to grow.

I’ve been a decent parent. I am consistent. I give love. I spend time with my kids. I am structured. I provide them with a host of different opportunities in which to grow and become educated. I advocate for them. I don’t take the easy way out when it comes to teaching them how to be dependable adults. I love them unconditionally. And in the past year, I’ve become very comfortable and confident in my parenting role.

I’ve given back. I have worked on some incredible charity projects that I believe in. I have made a difference at my children’s orphanages. I have volunteered in areas that mattered to me. I have let my voice be heard.

I have made incredible progress in this school of life. Conquering the weight thing was huge. Dealing with the cancer scare. Almost dying from plastic surgery complications. Building a house. Dealing with death. Dealing with my father’s Alzheimer’s. Not defining my identity by a job description and enjoying my time as a stay at home mom. Building friendships. Crossing things off my “things I want to do before I die” list.

It’s so easy to focus on the negative and what could better when you’ve had so many trials…

Sometimes it’s just good to stop and reflect on what is instead of what it should be right? Sometimes, it’s good to not always be striving for the next improvement but rather taking a moment to enjoy what you have done.

Extra Ordinary Mundane in a Nutshell

2005-01-16T17:04:00.000-08:00

Hi campers. Another busy day. Hopefully after next weekend, my life will slow down enough that I can write something else besides these posts that drone on about how busy I am. I think I feel the need to write about it because in some way, it justifies how I feel. Slightly overwhelmed. Slightly inadequate. Pulled in many directions and not giving my all to any one thing. Strange I know. But its my blog and God knows Im not writing for a Pulitzer.

Today was spent doing the birthday party thing. We seem to have one to two birthday parties a week. Next year, Noah starts Kindergarten and I figure Im going to have figure out a way to stock my present closet by buying wholesale.

Today's big accomplishment: (you knew I was going to talk about laundry in some form right?) I folded several loads of laundry AND put them away. *proud accomplished look*

Then I went and bought food for my Pampered Chef Party tomorrow. Note to self: Go to the grocery store when the game is ON, not when its over. However, not even the crowds could damper the joy I experienced when I found they had free Tullys coffee samples today. So it was good grocery shopping day. Sipping coffee while negotiating the jarred food isle looking for large olives.

Now I have to get a quick dinner together and then I have a PTA Nomination Committee meeting tonight. I actually enjoy those meetings because the women I am working with are all sane, smart and on the ball.

Then tonight I will curl up with some popcorn and my hubby and watch Extreme Home Makeover and Desperate Housewives. Sounds corny, but I really do enjoy this time with him. Kids are in bed, we both get all teary watching the owners gush about their new home and then we enjoy the laughs with Housewives. I dunno. It's a great way to start the week.

Tomorrow, the kids have off from school. (I seriously need to have a chat with the teachers union about all these freakin days off they negotiate!) And I have to at least make sure the downstairs is presentable for the party.

Oh and my hubby is now building my website. And the Flash animation is very cool. Subtle, but cool. Since I am porting over to WordPress, I suspect it will take another weekend or so before I can launch it. I can't wait. I'm very excited about the change. I am such a creator. Don't do the maintaining thing too well... but creating... that I love to do!

What else happened today? My friend from college might go on a girls only weekend with me in March. We are deciding where. My only requirement is warmth. I spoke to a buddy who's whole life is coming together and I am very happy for her. Really thrilled for her. Oh and I had an erotic dream last night about a guy I never expected to have an erotic dream about. And I am hoping that a friend who was hurt by something I did (or rather something I didn't do) has forgiven me.

Isn't my life interesting? Ha.

I'm just sayin'

2005-01-15T23:02:00.000-08:00

I need some chocolate chip cookie dough really bad...

Genuine Run Down

2005-01-15T16:49:00.000-08:00

I’m sitting here in front of my office computer. In polar fleece. Sweat pants. My hands, when they are not typing, are being warmed by some left over William Sonoma’s Peppermint Hot Chocolate from Christmas. I don’t really have too much to say, but felt I needed to post and give you the quick skinny on the dinner last night. I keep looking out the window at the freezing rain and feel so grateful for all the wonderfulness of my life. Warm home. Peaceful. Good Friends. Full Life. Everyone healthy. Life is good ya know? What the hell is making me all melancholy and reflective today?

Anyway, it was wonderful to meet Jim and Michelle. We had a great time at dinner last night. I drove into Seattle and picked them up around 3. Jay and Kim and their crew came over around 5. Jim is just as competitive as I am and Michelle and I had a weird brain sync going in the game Cranium. She got black hole out of a few stars and a swirly cue thing after all. You probably had to be there, but let me tell ya -- it was impressive. And kind of magic like!

And they brought my kids a DVD. One we didn't have even! You gotta love people who bring gifts for your kids. And... I got a Genuine Tee Shirt! And there were no strings attached to this tee shirt gift either. Like wearing it wet. And posting pictures. Great people I tell ya!

Conversation was never slow. I’d tell you some of the topics we covered (although some might make you blush) but those of you who have met Bloggers in person after reading their blog or chatting online understand the ease and comfort of conversation that comes quickly after meeting face to face. No different here.

Food came out well, although my timing was a bit off because I was talking instead of cooking. Let’s just say that no one left hungry. And most importantly, a good time was had by all.

10 Realizations this Morning

2005-01-14T09:37:00.000-08:00

Things I’ve realized today:

That if a People Magazine gets wet, say like if someone tips a bottle of water over on it and you aren’t around to clean it up, the ink will adhere to your end table and require substantial scrubbing to get it off.

That no matter how much I will it, my husband will never be perceptive enough to do the things I want him to do, in the timeframe I want them done, because his priorities match mine exactly. His priorities don't match. I need to get over it and simply direct him and be grateful he does it with a happy heart.

That homemade chocolate icing is way better then the stuff in the can. Really.

That when you are managing volunteers, 90% of the job is managing expectations including yours.

That I get way more personal satisfaction and fulfillment volunteering at my children’s school and being on the PTA then I imagined I would and I’ve made some great new friends too.

That my life is too hectic right now. I have to cut some things. Everynight this week I’ve had a “thing” to do. Brownie Parents Meeting, Board of Directors Meeting, Homeowner’s meeting, etc. I need more down time in my life to feel refreshed.

That my youngest two need a lot more pants or I need to do laundry more often.

That if my cleaning lady doesn’t come today for some reason, I’m screwed. Cause the Genu ines are going to be here around 3pm and then I have a Pampered Chef Party on Monday and I’ve been baking, not cleaning and the house is a PIT.

That my wish list of Pampered Chef items is way longer then the points I will accumulate from people buying stuff.

That last night at dinner we played “what I love about you” at the table. Game was long over, but as I was leaving for yet another evening meeting, Emma told me “Mom what I love about you is that you always look pretty when you go out”. Made me feel good cause I’m feeling a bit frumpy lately. And the realization this morning was that my 7 year old pays attention to stuff like that -- truthfully, I didn't think she did.

Friends and Food... what a Coupling!

2005-01-13T13:15:00.000-08:00

Did you know the Genuine’s were coming to Seattle? They are! I am very excited to meet both of them. So I just got back from a trip to the grocery store. Let’s review the menu for tomorrow’s dinner ok? I’m a little nervous because I’m trying some new appetizers from an awesome cookbook I got for Christmas. It looks yummy… but I’m making several different things in case something doesn’t turn out right.

Appetizers
Crispy Crab and Cream Cheese Wontons
Spiced Corn Cakes with avocado lime salsa
Vietnamese Egg Rolls with spicy and sweet and sour dipping sauces

Main Course
Grilled Rib eyes with Gorgonzola Butter
Waldorf Salad
Tossed Salad
Baked Potato
Baby Green Beans with Bacon
Fresh Rosemary and Garlic Artisan Bread

Dessert:
Kym’s Homemade Chocolate Lover Cake with Vanilla Bean Ice Cream

I am such a foodie. I enjoy making delicious food for friends. I can’t wait to enjoy the good meal and excellent company!

Random

2005-01-12T09:01:00.000-08:00

MSN is adding RSS. Interesting choice for them to add RSS over investing in other features. Other features like "future publish" which blogger also doesn't do (*sigh*) seem like it would help them acquire new users faster then RSS. New Blog users don't understand what RSS is... so I don't understand why they would invest in that as a feature. Unless they think it's going to become so widely popular that *everyone* is going to be doing it in 18 months.

I can't decide whether I should take the kids to Hawaii in February. It's expensive and I just don't know if I would enjoy it as much by myself. Also, the place i really wanted to stay at is booked solid, but I did find another place that looks ok, albeit expensive. I'm on the fence. I need to make a decision.

I have an AWESOME blog design idea! It's going to look so cool. I can't wait. Of course now it's a big waiting game while I work on it with hubby. Hubby is the flash/html/scripting/design whiz... I'm sure you are wondering what I bring to the partnership right? Leadership and a whip. Hubba Hubba.

Karen regarding the Ipod music choices. I downloaded or listened to every suggestion that was given to me! I think Mir's Dar Williams was my favorite.

Apple for 99 Alex!

2005-01-11T13:07:00.000-08:00

Apple has just released a $99 Ipod. This is going to make some people very happy!! I suspect Emma will now ask for an Ipod for her birthday.

Site redesign

2005-01-11T10:44:00.000-08:00

I'm redesigning my site in the coming weeks. Anyone got any cute theme ideas they want to share?

Also... what are some your favorite site designs? I'd love it if you could leave some links in the comments. Thanks friends!

Where the hell is the wine decorker thingie?

2005-01-10T19:39:00.000-08:00

It's 7:40pm
I was up at 6:45 this morning with my angels.
It's been a long day.
With my kids.
Feels really long.
Did I mention it's been long?
My husband is still at work.
I made a glorious dinner that he hasn't enjoyed.
I feel very unfufilled right now.
And tense. Why?
I let my kids have cupcakes for dessert.
That was a mistake.
Even in bed they are twitching from the sugar high.
I just yelled "GET TO BED" for the 10th time.
I am not a big drinker, but I now realize that I must open a bottle of wine or .... else.
Isn't the definition of alcoholism when you use alcohol to avoid your problems?

Yes but what I really need to know is if that is true if you use alcohol to avoid your children?

They aren't really problems per se. Just small tornados that never stop.

Busy Busy Busy

2005-01-10T16:13:00.000-08:00

Where the hell have you been today?

I know I know. It’s been a slow blog day at exmundane. Sorry about that. Today has been one of those catch up days. It’s been nonstop running errands, emails, phone calls. I hate days like this.

Got all the kids off to school, came home showered. Called and put money in the kid’s lunch accounts. And can I just say here that I love I can accrue airplane miles buying my kids school lunches? Yeah. Well. Anyway. Went back to school to pick up Emma and go to her orthopedist appointment. She’s now in a splint! Yipee! No more crutches. But we had to go buy her some new shoes to fit the splint. So a quck side trip to the shoe store. Then I took her back to school. Then went and picked up Noah from preschool. Another childfree morning shot to hell. Then went and met the Girl Scout Cookie lady. On the way home from that fun, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up ~~a few~~ $100 worth of food. Then I came home and returned 5 rental calls, fed my kid, talked for longer then I wanted to to my grandmother who wanted my opinion on five stocks she’s thinking of buying. Surfed the ether. Chatted online a few minutes with Jay. Talked to the extended warranty guy about our big screen TV. Conferred with hubby about extending the warranty another year or just taking our chances. Responded to half a dozen emails. Prepped some wonderful wild rice stuffed chicken breasts for dinner with roasted Rosemary potatoes. Made some homemade blue cheese salad dressing. And now will be heading out in 45 mins to pick my two daughters from charm school.

Yes you read that right. Charm School.

It’s an extended class program at the school. It was very reasonably priced and they are teaching them things like what fork to use, manners, how to walk, how to greet people, how to shake hands, etc. I’m very impressed with the program so far.

Tonight I’m supposed to go scrapbook with some friends, but I am not feeling to into it. I really haven’t been feeling too social lately. It’s like all my extra energy is being sucked up just keeping this family running smoothly and dealing with my day to day tasks.

Anyway…that’s what I’ve been doing today. And why I didn’t get to blog this morning. Aren’t you glad you asked? That's rhetorical. No need to answer.

Seattle Snow

2005-01-09T09:20:00.000-08:00

We have some excitement in Seattle this morning. It snowed last night. Of course, they've been promising snow for several days now with no delivery. I guess if I was a kind hearted person, I'd talk about how the forecasters have a difficult job forecasting the weather between the Pacific Ocean, the Olympic Mountains, and the Cascade mountains. I mean there are just a lot of factors to consider down here at sea level. But no, I am not kind hearted. This morning when I heard them interviewing the Department of Transportation about the possibility of snow again tonight and they mentioned they would be "watching the forecast" both hubby and I chuckled. Ok it was more like a belly laugh. Hubby suggested to the TV that they might be better prepared if they just watch out the window versus depending on the forecast.

And so my kids are out playing in the wet messy slop and having a great time. They are putting the sleds they got for Christmas from Grandma Betty to good use. And they are building snowmen. Well.. Wait. I guess it's just a snow man. But you wouldn't know by how many baby carrots they have taken outside. After Noah's 6th trip indoors, I asked "what are you doing Noah?" and he looked at me with the saddest expression imaginable and lamented that his sisters keep eating Frosty's nose off.

There are just some things you never expect to hear from a four year old.

Help me spend money at Itunes

2005-01-08T18:47:00.000-08:00

I'm looking for ballad type music for my Ipod. Anyone have any suggestions? I like things with a strong lyrical message - stuff I can relate to in some way is a plus. Not to hard, not too fast. One of my favorite songs right now is "Blower's Daughter/Theme from Closer". So stuff along that genre would be especially appreciated.

Let me know what you like!

Bottomless Pit

2005-01-07T15:55:00.000-08:00

I think my boy is going through a growth spurt. Let's review his diet today. Please note that we haven't eaten dinner yet. My kids aren't big snackers... but today he's been nonstop eating.

1 bowl of Lucky Charms which probably was about really a serving and half with Skim Milk
Approx 4 ozs of Sugar Free Tang
2 Scrambled Eggs
half a piece of rye toast
A Cheese Stick
Handful of Triscuits
1 1/2 PB&J sandiches
1 sliced apple
Handful of baby carrots
2 big cups of milk
Box of Raisins
4 Mother's Butter Cookies
Trix Yogurt

And he just told me he's hungry again! Should feel good cause it's healthy stuff. But still... compared to what he normally eats, it's amazing he's putting away this much food. It's more then double!!

Inspirational Quote of the Day

2005-01-07T09:06:00.000-08:00

This is a quote on MSNBC from a man who lives in Sri Lanka and is a psychiatrist by trade. I found this quote very thought provoking especially considering the perspective.

To suffer is to survive. To bear it with grace and courage is to live. Ganesan, Sri Lanka.

Must See TV is dead.

2005-01-06T20:48:00.000-08:00

Dear NBC,

What have you done to "Must See TV Thursday?!"

In case you didn't notice: Joey sucks. Committed is predictible. Will and Grace is tired. And you must have fallen back to the cheaper remedial writers on ER this season.

Please bring back the "good ol' days".

Warmly,

--Kym

Vacation Suggestions?

2005-01-06T19:34:00.000-08:00

Well I think I'm narrowing down the wonderful beachy place to vacation in February. I need sunshine. I seriously think I *need* it. Not want it. Need it. Anyway.. I'm thinking of heading to Hawaii. Sure... hubby is jealous as hell... but I'll probably fall in love with it and then want to take him back next winter anyway. And I can fly there for about the same cost as going to Florida and less then going to Mexico.

And since I figured out that I still have to apply and PAY FOR Noah and Dinara's Certificate of Citizenship - that seriously dented my Mexico plans. I just would love to thank whomever had the bright idea to add Hawaii to our wonderful Union. What a brilliant score for these United States that state was!

And Weather Underground says the average high tempature is around 78-80 degrees in February.

However I am still looking around. My requirements are warmth, good airfares from Seattle, supervised children programs, all inclusive is a nice to have and a spa for me is a nice plus.

Any suggestions out there?

Favorite Lost Quote from Last Night

2005-01-06T13:15:00.000-08:00

My aren't I chatty today? Must be the cold weather. Other then grocery shopping, a load of laundry and feeding my kid... I've gotten nothing done!

I was over at House of Snark reading her synopsis of Lost... and it reminded me of my favorite quote from last nights show:

There's thin line between faith and denial.

Yep. Couldn't agree more.

Need a camera phone

2005-01-06T11:01:00.000-08:00

I just went out and bought some groceries. You know, in case that 2 inches of snow we might actually get here at sea level snows us in and all.

Seattle people can NOT handle any snow or ice. Rain we know what to do with folks. Frozen precipitation not so much. And if there was one day I was WISHING I had a camera phone, it was today. Really. The streets were filled with blogging fodder most aptly described via photos.

The cars that decided to go up the big icy hill WHILE the garbage truck was coming down the hill on the other side. Not smart.

The cars who pulled over at the bottom to watch the cars fishtail down the big hill for fun. But didn't laugh when their brand spanking' new big F4 truck, that looked like it should have had a rebel flag flying in the back window, got a nice big dent when the old Camery fishtaled into him. That wasn't so funny. But the expression on the guys face was. "Move out the way Bubba! Can you hear me now?! Gooooooood".

The mom who was letting her two year old scoop snow repeatedly in the park with no freakin' gloves on. I would have loved to have taken that picture. Cause you had to see it to believe it.

The mesmerizing way the snow would swirl over the payment with the wind making these pretty little curly cues.

I dunno. I've never really wanted a camera phone till today.

And my dearest hubby if you are reading this, don't go out and pick one up. This is just a post, not a directive. I love you.

Winning Understanding

2005-01-06T09:18:00.000-08:00

In the morning on the way to school, the kids play a “Dog Point” game. We live in a city where lots of people walk their dogs. So on the drive, they collect “dog points” for every dog they see. Rules are spotty but as much as I can gather, you have to see a dog and someone else has to confirm it to get the point. Thus you won’t get points for phantom dogs. Although Emma has tested this rule many times but Judge Noah has held firm rulings that no ghost dogs are allowed.

Anyway.. this morning Noah was standing up for Dinara’s three point lead (Dog points sometimes accumulate day to day in case you were wondering.) and Emma was verbally abusing her brother for his judgments. So I stepped in.

Me: Emma - Noah is right, Dinara is winning.
Emma: This is a really stupid game.
Me: It’s not stupid, it’s just you are frustrated because you aren’t winning.
Emma: How do you know that?
Me: How do I know what?
Emma: That I’m mad because I’m not winning.
Me: Because I know you like winning.
Emma: It’s more that I don’t like losing mom.
Me: I like winning better too.
Emma: But I don’t like you knowing me so well.
Me: Sorry. We are a lot alike.
Emma: Can’t you understand me less?
Me: Can we tape record this conversation for when you are 14?

DeLurk! DeLurk!

2005-01-05T10:17:00.000-08:00

Ok so today is delurking day according to Sheryl and LizT. So please delurk and leave me a comment. Especially if you have never commented before. Especially if you visit me and don't even have a blog! What I'd love to know from you is:

Who are you and how did you find me?
And what are your three favorite foods?
Give me one goal you have for 2005.

Thanks for stopping by!!!

Something Wicked This Way Comes?

2005-01-05T09:01:00.000-08:00

I love a good disaster film. Especially if it's a natural disaster. I really get wrapped up in it. I love to watch bad weather too. I'll even admit to watching HOURS of the weather channel like an old man when something exciting is happening. I don't know why. Is it the thrill of survival? Is the allure of anticipating how to escape problems that mother nature throws at us? Is it my love of danger? Am I sharing too much about my inner psyche?

Just wondering. Because something wicked this way comes.

The Plague of Play Date Politics

2005-01-04T10:06:00.000-08:00

Play date politics is not for wimps. I think one of the hardest things I have had to learn while being a stay at home mom is managing the relationships of play dates. I suffer a lot of play date guilt. Why? Because I know I am not meeting the expectations of a gaggle of parents.

There are two tiers of playdates. And the transistion from tier I to tier II is painful. Tier I friends get me. They get that I am about quality not quanity. I can not see them for awhile and pick up just like old times. They aren't needy and they don't place a lot of demands.

But there are more Tier II people in my life then Tier I. Tier II are people you don’t see too regularly, and some people who would like to be elevated to Tier I in your friendship circle. They are people maybe you know from school or have seen at church. And they want to either develop a friendship with you or have their kids develop a closer friendship. And obviously, and unfortunately, they tend to be people who like play dates a whole lot more then I do I guess. Or see playdates the sole road to developing a closer relationship.

And I know you have this burning desire to understand why I don’t like play dates right? So let me tell ya.

Mirroring Parents. I admit it. I get weary of being accommodating to both parents and kids alike. Since my personality type is the kind that pre-thinks potential problems and tries to negate them early in the process, I feel like a robot on play dates. I have to always be “on” trying to figure out if the parent is ok or if we have style conflicts. So I tend to mirror back what they are. Especially for parents I have just met or don’t know well. I do this all on automatic, I don’t think about it.. but it’s very draining. I have to bend to their parenting style, I have to bend our rules, I have to keep my big trap shut on controversial issues. Blah. Draining. Would rather stay home and watch Oprah.

Forcing Kid Accomodation Kids are fickle creatures. They fall in and out of favor with each other. They go through phases. Sometimes, they are all lovey with a friend the next minute, they aren’t. I don’t sweat it. But some mom’s do. They get worried that little Sammy doesn’t like little Billy anymore. When if they would just wait a few days or weeks (or hours!), things would be fine. And wouldn’t it be nice if you could just call a mom and say “Uh… Lisa doesn’t feel like playing with Kelly for awhile because she’s irritating the crap out of her”. But no, that never happens. So you just explain to your kid to just be quiet, play with the kid for a couple of hours and make nice-nice. Welcome to the real world kid.

Time Suckers. Playdates are never 45 minutes. I’m a type A personality that feels like I have to always be accomplishing something. Wasting several days a week sitting around someone’s house watching our kids run laps, isn’t my idea of fun. And somehow, it’s considered rude to sweep the floor, fold laundry, sort out the Tupperware cabinet while Mommy Z is talking about why the spring dance is so important for a bunch of third graders.

Managing Sibling Issues We have several families where our kids match in ages. Sometimes we do play dates because I like the parents. Sometimes we do play dates because one of the little ones likes one of the kids. But rarely in a family of our size does everyone like everyone else at the same time. Someone always has to have some "give" and do the playdate even when they don't want to and play with kids they don't want to. For example. Young ones have a friend and an older sibling. Young friend comes to visit. Parent brings sibling. And it’s just assumed that my eldest will entertain the older sibling. Cause you know, the whole family is here. And although I’ve tried to just invite one, it’s very hard to say, “well to be honest my other kids would rather not play with your other kid so could you leave him at home and only bring the one we like today?”

Reciprocating Dates If we are invited for play dates, we usually go. But to be truthful, I don’t schedule many play dates. I don’t have to. My kids live on a street where there are 6 houses of kids to play with. When they come home, they want to go outside and play. We aren’t lacking for socialization opportunities here. And so I have felt that I have a host of parents who have had my kids over for play dates and want me to have their kids over. But I don’t wanna. And it’s very hard to come up with 25 nice ways to say “no thanks”. And I feel guilt when I don’t reciprocate. How do I get over that? Don't you long for the days when there weren't playdates? When kids just played outside together and it wasn't some big social organized thing? ME TOO!

Parenting Style Incompatibility This is obvious. I am consistent with my kids. I set boundaries. They know the rules. If they break the rules, there are consequences for breaking the rules. Amazingly, many parents do not follow this philosophy. Amazingly, many parents, probably unknowingly, reinforce behaviors with their parenting style. It is energy draining for me with my big mouth to sit there and smile about how cute Jonnie is when what I really want to say is that Jonnie really needs is some firm boundaries and not cuddled when Jonnie doesn’t get his way. And then, just maybe, Jonnie won’t whine, pinch, throw, scream or cry so much because they get hugged when they are not getting their way.

Perfectly Involved Play Date Mommy I know it will surprise you but my overachiever personality doesn’t have an on off switch. I suffer guilt when one of my kids comes home with a kiln fired gold plated ornament that they made with XXX’s mom. And how their mom made all organic chocolate chip cookies. And then took them ice-skating. And to Build A Bear. And did a sleep over. And could Suzie come over next week and we’ll reconstruct the Sistine Chapel with Popsicle sticks?

No is Never Enough. You don’t want to go. You don’t want to drop them off. You just want to do your regular routine. No reason other then you don’t feel like it. Wouldn’t it be nice if it went like this: “Hello Kym? Want to bring over your kids for a playdate?” “Umm. Nope. *crickets chirping* Have a Happy Day!” {click} If it was only that easy. But everyone wants to know why you wouldn’t want to spend hours with their adorable children. You have to justify your decision. And somehow telling people that you just don’t want to, is never a good enough excuse. Although usually, Tier I friends get it. Usually.

So I struggle. I want to meet new people but I guess I have trouble feeling comfortable setting boundaries with people I don’t know that well. I’m still learning.

And still trying to avoid play dates like the plague.

Poor Noah

2005-01-03T14:13:00.000-08:00

Noah's temp is 104.1. Thank God I stocked up on those Tylenol Melt Aways last week. He's holding that down so at least his temp should come down some. And although he held down a few crackers this morning, his one bite lunch and water came right back up.

My poor little limp rag. Prayers appreciated for my sick baby and that it doesn't hit the other kids.

Sick Boy and Sleepy Me

2005-01-03T10:54:00.000-08:00

The choir of angels were going to sing today because my kids were going back to school. I was going to have 3 glorious hours this morning to myself to get caught up on everything. But life rarely works out the way we expect it to does it?

At 4am I wake to hearing Noah moaning and crying. I plod down to his room without my glasses. His light is on and he is writhing on his bed. I bring him to me in a hug and can feel the warmth of a fever.

Sleepy Me: What's the matter Noah?
Sick Boy Noah: "My head hurts".

I tell him I'll go get him some medicine. I plod back to my room and go to the bathroom fumbling around looking for the dang kidlet pain meds. It's 4 am, I give him some motrin, turn off his light, kiss him and plod back to bed. All is quiet. After about 45 mins, I fall back asleep.

I sleep through my radio alarm (who turned the volume down?!) and awaken to my husband shaking me at 7:50. "We overslept!"

Sure. The one day this whole vacation my kids decide to sleep in!

I go to wake the girls and see Noah is puking in the toliet. Just a little bit. Looks strangely like See's Chocolate. Maybe 2 or 3 pieces worth. When did he eat chocolate? So as he flushes the toliet I'm wondering where and when the heck he ate chocolate. Does this make me a bad mom? I'm not worrying that he has the pukes so much, but more wondering about the contents of the puke.

Sleepy Me: Noah did you eat Mommy's chocolate?

Sick Boy Noah: No.

Sleepy Me: Noah, tell me the truth. That looks like chocolate puke.

Know it All Dinara: Yep. It's chocolate puke. I know what chocolate puke looks like.

Sick Boy Noah: Ok. Yes. But it didn't taste like chocolate when I puked it.

Well alrighty then.

Sleepy Me: Did you go back to sleep after I gave you the medicine?

Sick Boy Noah: No. I went downstairs and played Game Cube. And got some chocolate when I got hungry.

Sleepy Me: But I told you to go back to bed.

Sick Boy Noah: I did go back to bed. Then I got up.

Sleepy Me: How ya feelin?

Sick Boy Noah: I'm ok mommy. But I don't want anymore candy.

Sleepy Me to Hubby: Guess I don't have to worry about him eating See's Candy anymore!

Things I Love for December

2005-01-02T11:46:00.000-08:00

Just like Oprah, I have things I love. I love a good find. A good find is something that is wonderful, that makes me feel great, or offers an excellent value for the money. Here’s my list of great finds for December that focus on some of my New Year’s Resolutions.

I am resolving to drink more white tea this year. Did you know white tea has more antibacterial and antioxidants in it then even green tea? I’ve found one that tastes incredibly good. It’s called Fusion Red and White Tea by Stash. Absolutely divine. It's a mixture of teas from China and Africa. And it tastes like black tea but a touch sweeter.

I resolve to look better this year. And who would have thunk a fuchsia washable suede blazer mentioned in passing in a post could generate email? Seems Nordstrom’s no longer has the hot pink color, but this will give you the general idea of the style of jacket. The big key for me is princess seams with a slightly tucked waist. I love it because it’s really easy to care for and it has the ability to transform my jeans and a tee shirt into something great looking. This year, I am going to focus my clothing buying on unique things that “transform” the general stuff I tend to wear day to day. Like jackets, jewelry, accessories, shoes etc. And for my guy readers, my husband loves this washable suede blazer for men.

I resolve to find quick healthy dinners for my family that don’t take hours to prepare. Easy dinner idea is Tyson’s stuffed Pork Chops found in the freezer section. We can get five on sale for $7.99. What I love most about these is that they not only taste good but they come individually wrapped and flash frozen thus quickly defrosted in some warm water. Then it's just 18 minutes in the oven. Quick easy dinner!

I resolve to not spend a fortune on wardrobe basics I replace regularly anyway. My absolute favorite tee shirts are the ones on sale at Target for $7.99. Seriously. Less then 8 bucks for a smooth tee shirt. They have them long sleeved, in multiple colors, in both crew and vneck and they look fabulous layered. The tag is even printed on the back of the shirt… so when you think of it being a “smooth” tee shirt, it really is. I think it's the perfect layering tee shirt.

I resolve to do more fun things with my kids this year. So tell me, do you have young prepubescent girls in your household? Have you by chance spent anytime at Club Libby Lu? They are usually found in your local malls. They do makeovers! They do princess stuff! They have make your own lip balm and bath shower gel stations complete with sparkles. My girls love this store! And they do birthday parties. Watch out Build A Bear. You have some competition in the little girl wonderland department!

So tell me your great finds for December?

Core Family Values

2005-01-01T10:50:00.000-08:00

Ok be forewarned. This is one of those posts that I would read on someone else’s site and respond with “Don’t read so much into it. Let it go, everything will be ok with the perspective of time. It's more about you then them.” But I decided to still put out there the story because it gives insight into our lives, what I think, what I feel, what I worry about being a mom of a family built by both biological and adoptive means.

This is a story of how my children did something pure and innocent that just might illuminate what they are thinking and feeling. And what they are thinking and feeling is not what I expected.

So my kids love Build A Bear Workshop. (BAB) Build A Bear is a place where children pick out an unstuffed animal, get it stuffed, give a heart, make a wish, buy an outfit and print a birth certificate. They adopt a stuffed animal. My children love this place. I think it rivals Disney World as the Happiest Place on Earth in their minds. So we are there spending our BAB Bucks from Christmas. There are so many different choices to make. And Dinara made the choice of a dog for her animal. Why you ask? (I’m so glad you did.) Because BAB dogs have magnets in their mouths and the puppies have magnets in the scarves around their necks. Thus a BAB dog mom can carry the baby. Isn’t that cute? Well Dinara picked out a pink French poodle. And then we walked over to the doggie accessories and puppies.

Stay with me here…. I’m getting to the point.

She really wanted the Labrador puppy. Not the poodle puppy. She hesitated when the Labrador puppy was in the poodle’s mouth. Just for an instant and Emma picked up on it. Emma pointed out that they didn’t match and the poodle dog should have a poodle puppy. I recoiled in horror and I quickly pointed out that perhaps the mom adopted the Labrador puppy. I glanced at Dinara and saw confusion. My heart hurt. Dinara looked back at me with such a serious expression and then put the puppy back and picked up the poodle puppy.

There were two things that bothered me here. Firstly, that Emma pointed out the difference and didn’t see a different puppy as “normal”? Aren’t mixed race families normal for my kids? Doesn’t Emma see that? I wanted to smack Emma for even pointing out the “differences”. I spend a lot of time pointing out what makes us the same with others not what makes us different. It’s a fine line to walk when you have internationally adopted kids. You stroll on the edge between honoring their heritage and what makes them different. While trying to reinforce that, in fact, the differences that separate us are much smaller then the things that make us the same. And it bothered me that Emma felt compelled to point out that the puppy was different. What difference did it make? Does Emma really think that the ideal is a puppy that looks just like the mom? My God, after all these years, haven’t my children gotten this lesson? It’s so important to me. Haven’t they gotten the whole concept that color, looks, the whole book by its cover thing? Hello. It’s not the outside that counts!!!

Secondly, it killed me that Dinara put the Labrador back! I wanted her to have the Labrador puppy and explore the miracle of adoption with her BAB. I wanted her to demonstrate our cool progressive thoughts on building families with her BAB. She didn’t have to conform to what was expected, ya know? Does she understand that being different is ok? I wanted her to proudly proclaim via her toys that there is more then one choice besides biological procreation for building a family. Ridiculous, I know. But because it’s so important to me, I just hoped for it. I can’t help it. I expected it. Because it’s so ingrained as part of our family culture. And sadly, maybe it’s not as ingrained as I thought.

I suggested to Dinara she take the Labrador puppy instead of the poodle. But Dinara just shook her head and said, “It should be the Poodle, Mom. They look alike”. MWAAAAAH!!!!

I let it go. Well, I let it go on the surface. They have no idea what a deep chord it struck with me. I don’t want Dinara or Noah to ever feel like adoption is second best. Not that they were saying that, but in my head, that’s where it went. Because Dinara thought the mom should be mothering the dog that looked just like her and that was obviously biological. That was what she thought was normal. That being “the same” or “looking the same” is important. My dear sweet children please know that biology and genetics are not important threads in the tapestry of love; they are beautiful embellishments but not necessary components for the actual fabric.

And it hit me. That even though what my kids look like isn’t important to me… it might be important to them. And I realized that by choosing the puppy that looked just like the mommy, I felt Dinara was making a statement that she underneath it all, might feel that way. And I would need to explore this. At some point. Soon. Maybe not just for them, but for me.

Whether it hurts or not, I need to better understand if I am reading too much into this. Is this more about me and my preconceived notions or is this reflective of how my children really feel about adoption versus biological children?

So happy to be saying goodbye to 2004....

2004-12-31T14:06:00.000-08:00

It's so nice to wrap up 2004. I figured I'd do the meme for closure. This meme is from Mir although I know I've seen it around a lot. Have a happy and safe New Year's Eve!!

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Swimming with the dolphins at Discovery Cove. It was on my “things to do before I die” list. I loved it.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I resolved to exercise more and I didn’t do that. I’ll resolve that this year too and probably won’t do it. I wish they had a surgery or pill that made you like exercising if you hate it.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My friend Chewie is a college-educated woman. She has adopted 3 kids internationally. She was very sick this year and went to the ER with severe abdominal pains. Turns out, she was in labor and gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby boy a few hours later. This was a huge shock, but a very pleasant one!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. My grandpa who I count as one of the biggest male influences on my life died this year of metastatic Liver Cancer. I miss him.

5. What countries did you visit?
Do the countries in Disney’s Epcot World Showcase count?

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Less drama. More friendship. Less medical emergencies. A Dow that sees 14,000. World peace. You know just a few things.

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 13 when Hurricane Charley hit. My family wouldn’t leave and they were in an area that could have suffered extreme flooding. The helpless feeling was horrible.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Maintaining my weight and the 160 lb weight loss. This still amazes me. After years and years of always losing the weight but never maintaining, the true miracle of this surgery is that it gives me the power to maintain.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Berating my husband when his appendix ruptured for being a complete wussy and not putting the kids to bed. He told me just felt “ill” and I wasn’t sympathetic at ALL. And then, even when I thought it might be his appendix, not making him go to the ER that night but letting him wait till morning. Sure it was his request, but I should have insisted.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
HAHAHAHAHA. My life was nothing but illness and injury last year. Not for me but for my family. Noah broke his leg. John’s appendix ruptured. My grandfather died of liver cancer, my father got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. My mother got another MRSA infection. Emma broker her leg and required two pins. Hurricane Charley caused thousands of dollars damage to our property in Florida. It was a fun filled year all around.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
3 rooms of furniture from my trip to High Pointe North Carolina in February. I loved it. The trip and the furniture. And on a smaller scale, I bought a fuchsia pink ultra suede (washable!) blazer that I just love.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Noah. He left the hell of the three’s and has become a much more reasonable 4 year old that actually likes to clean. I love this child.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and disgusted?
My mom. On more fronts then I care to even go into here. I love her, but she has serious issues.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Furniture, vacation and insurance while my husband was out of work.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
An employed husband with health insurance!!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Vertigo by U2.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Hmmm. About the same I think.
b) thinner or fatter? About the same. A few pounds more.
c) richer or poorer? Richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Adventure. Spontaneity. Romance.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Wasting time focusing on trying to change some things that were not going to ever change versus excepting that they are what they are and learn to be happy with the peace of at least understanding that is the way things are.

20. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
Late afternoon we are going to Build A Bear and out to eat with the kids. Then hubby and I are spending a quiet night at home.

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
Nope.

22. How many one-night stands?
Nada. Zero. Zilch.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Can't pick just one! Lost. Amazing Race. Extreme Home Makeover. Desperate Housewives.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is too strong a word. But there are people who are high on my annoy-o-meter.

25. What was the best book you read?
Demons and Angels by Dan Brown

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Finger 11.

27. What did you want and get?
I have always wanted a big Coach purse. Hubby got me one (the perfect one!) for my birthday. I love it.

28. What did you want and not get?
You mean besides the winning multimillion-dollar lottery ticket?

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Closer and Touching the Void

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 37. I spent the evening with my family.

31.What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying?
Less monumental life drama. No illnesses. No hurricanes. Just peace.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Well I guess I would say that I am still learning about fashion considering that stuff off the rack actually fits me now. So.. my concept was called “learning curve”.

33. What kept you sane?
Chocolate. My husband.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Bill Gates. It’s a power thing. It’s a money thing. Can’t help it.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Election

36. Who did you miss?
I miss my family. They live on the other side of the country.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
There are several. Since they read here I'm not going to list them cause ...they would be embarrassed. Yes.you.would. Let it go.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
If you whine too much about real life pain in your blog people find it emotionally exhausting unless they either love you or are the “need to be needed” types.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Well I've been lost in my own place
And I'm getting' weary
How far is heaven?
And I know that I need to change
My ways of living
How far is heaven?
Lord, can you tell me?

The Gift of Charity

2004-12-30T22:24:00.000-08:00

You won't see me asking for too much in my blog. But every once and awhile, something will touch me. I don't mean to be preachy, but please allow me to get on a soap box for the folks suffering in Southern Asia.

Please consider making a donation today. It's the end of the year and if you itemize, you'll get a tax deduction to go along with that big warm feeling you will get knowing you helped someone who was suffering.

If you are going to give, please give wisely. Give to an organization that is dedicated to giving more then 90% of every dollar directly to programs and victims. One charity that my husband and I believe in... is Mercy Corps. Mercy Corps is based here in the Pacific NW and in Scotland. And they have a long history of maximizing the impact of every dollar given. They already have a small team on the ground and were one of the first responders to the Tsunami Disaster.

Of course the most important message is simply to give. It's so easy to let inertia take over isn't it? So take this moment to find a charity to give to. And then whatever charity you choose be knowledgable about the charity you are gifting through.

Please consider giving today. No amount is too small. It's most important to just choose to do something.

Thanks.

If I traded it all for one thing...

2004-12-30T14:49:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite songs of the moment is by Finger-11 "One Thing". The chorus lyrics go like this:

If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something?

Dinara asked me today if they were talking about chocolate ice cream.

My next house

2004-12-29T10:54:00.000-08:00

When we build our next house it's going to have one big bedroom converted into a closet. In this closet will be wall to wall closet organizing systems and two washers and two dryers. ALL my families clothes will be kept in this room. All undressing will be done in this room. Maybe I'll even have THREE washers. One for lights, one for darks and one for whites and my family can just throw their clothes in the appopriate washer. The big idea is that laundry will only accumulate in this room. There will be no hauling baskets up and down stairs. There will be no children screaming because someone dropped a wet blanket over the banister on their head. There will only be one place for single socks. There will be drawers to fold clothes into and hangers to hang clothes on RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE WASHED. Interesting concept no?

Yes friends it's laundry day again.

Congratulations

2004-12-29T08:45:00.000-08:00

To my sister who just found out she passed the Dental Licensure Exam!!! WHOOOT! I'm so proud of her!! What a great way to start 2005!!!

Tsunami

2004-12-28T18:47:00.000-08:00

Here's a link to several amateur video of the Tsunamis from Cheese and Crackers. My prayers for the families who are faced with having to pick up their lives after the destruction.

Post Christmas Funk or Morphing Curmudgeon?

2004-12-28T09:48:00.000-08:00

Am I really of a mindset to write a meaningful well thought out post? I dunno. Maybe I have a post Christmas funk. Maybe it’s the lack of sunlight. Maybe my kids are just driving me insane. Maybe I need to sip some fine frothy frozen thing with umbrellas on a beach somewhere without my kids to refresh my spirit. Yes… that is sounding appealing.

Seriously, my kids are driving me nutso. I have been taking a decongestant since I’ve been sick and I think it’s affecting my patience level. As in, I have none. Emma has become the most mouthy and uncooperative child. I’m tired of teaching her the lesson of controlling her emotions. Her sister doesn’t do something she likes, so she just swipes her hand over the game board and pieces go flying everywhere. Another example, I ask her to do something and her response is not her usual “sure mom” but rather “why do I have to do that?” It’s like a throw back to when she was 3 and everything became a negotiation. Please God, give me back my happy go lucky child.

Dinara is in the “tell on everyone” phase. The slightest infraction and Dinara is there to tell mommy what the offender did. She thinks she’s helping, but I really simply want to bury my head in the sand for awhile and not rescue her from the clutches of her brother and sister. And we won't talk about the perfume, lip gloss and nail polish incidents. Yes they were all seperate incidents. Stupid big fat guy gave her this crap in her stocking. The fat guy learned ~~her~~ his lesson the hard way. 'Nuf said.

Noah is using his words but at a very loud volume. If I hear “You can’t do that” or “that is mine!” or “MOMMMMMMMMM!!!!” one more time, I shall scream right along with him. He also is the little liar in the family. The other two will cop to their offenses, but Noah will give you a good run for your money using denial as his first line of defense. At least I am still finding his lying somewhat amusing. The kid is pretty creative and depending on the time of day, it is one thing that is driving me nuts that can still bring a smile to my face.

I have friends with only one child who are contemplating child #2. And I have this advice for you: STOP NOW!!! You know how you get tired of listening to your one child whine? Well exponentially multiple it when they have other little floor dwellers to interact with all the time. It.Never.Ends. Sure they play together… but there’s a cost for that and the price is your sanity. See? I’m in such a chipper mood aren’t I?

And then there is me. I am feeling very unsocial these days. Even though my cocoon is chaotic with all the kids home and my sanctuary is a mess with mysterious packaging from Christmas that keeps multiplying every time I turn my back… I just don’t feel like going anywhere or being around anyone. I think, as I get older, I am becoming more introverted. I just don’t feel the draw to be around people as much as I did when I was younger. Maybe I just burned out on socializing since Christmas or worse yet, maybe I am becoming a curmudgeon.

Anyway… to give me something to look forward to I am working on planning up a vacation year. Since my hubby has a new job and can’t join me, I’m asking some friends if they want to meet me on a beach somewhere and watch the kids play in the sand or perhaps go on a cruise where there is some free childcare.

So what do you say? Wanna meet me on a beach somewhere?

Imparting Wisdom

2004-12-27T13:13:00.000-08:00

My kids are fighting a lot. They keep thinking that if they yell a bit louder, they will get the other person to do what they want.

It doesn’t work for mommy kids, so my guess it won’t work for you either.

Sappy Christmas Recap

2004-12-26T17:56:00.000-08:00

When we were childless, we dreamed of Christmas with a house full of kids. This year, was by far, starting with the beauty of a wonderful Christmas Eve, the best Christmas we have ever had. Sure it wasn’t white, sure we had colds, but it was full and filled with joyful smiles. And wonderful in great ways.

It started on Christmas Eve. We had to cancel our dinner party plans since we had be sporting on and off fevers for several days. We were feeling a bit better so we went out to a local restaurant for dinner. We had a great time and I enjoyed having someone else doing the cooking and cleaning! Merry Christmas to me!

When we got home, we put the kids to bed. Emma couldn’t get to sleep though as she was too excited. She was still awake at 11pm when I had to run out to 7-11 to get more batteries. At 12:30, daddy and mommy fell asleep.

Kids woke us up at 8am. I brushed my teeth and stumbled down to get some coffee. The kids were all excited about their stockings and all the treasures found within. Santa gave them some earrings (that mommy would NEVER have let them have) with a bit of “dangle” to them… so the girls were thrilled. And Noah was impressed Santa put Yu-Gi-Oh cards in his stocking. So daddy and mommy settled down and we started letting each child open a gift.

Dinara, always taking things literally, didn’t understand till the day before Christmas Eve that it wasn’t going to be a white Christmas. She believed, just as the song said that “all your Christmases be white”. She was a might bit disappointed that there wasn’t going to be snow on Christmas but decided that she would be consoled with all her presents. She especially liked her new doctor’s set complete with coat that says Doctor Dinara. She was also charmed by her Polly Pocket Roller Coaster, Dog Show Playhouse and new Polaroid Camera.

Noah was thrilled with his new comfy pj’s. He wore them all day. He told us that he thinks that train conductors wear these Jammies under their clothes to keep warm. He has enjoyed his new Nintendo Video Games, a Blinx 2 game for Daddy’s new Xbox, Geotrax Train Set, and Lincoln Logs.

Emma knew she was getting something big for Christmas. She had been pumping us for days about what it could be. What were the hints? She opened a few gifts first before she set out on her quest to find the gift we talked about. I admit I was bit worried that perhaps we had hyped the gift a bit much. I mean afterall, when you have weeks of hype, you could be set up for big disappointment if it doesn’t live up to expectations. And so when she opened up her digital camera she threw her hands up in the air and squealed with delight. Then, the most amazing thing happened. Her eyes welled up with tears of gratitude and joy. She was overcome with happiness and just couldn’t believe she got a digital camera. It was the best moment in our Christmas giving. Then she flung herself on us and told us thank you. It was priceless. She also got various CDs, a new Hoodio from the Gap, books, and board games.

We had a great breakfast of Christmas Egg Casserole and Cinnamon rolls. Then settled in to play with the kids. For a snack we had some cheese, crackers, summer sasauge and olives and smoothing sparkley to drink. It was a wonderful quiet afternoon.

As I finished up cooking the dinner of Prime Rib and my very special smashed potatoes with Dinara helping me roll the crescent rolls and Noah roaring with delight over winning a game of Monkey Ball and Emma playing Monopoly on the floor with her Dad… I realized what a wonderful glorious day this had been. i know I sound hokey... but it really was so great and I just relished every single moment of it. It wasn’t Currier and Ives but it was special. And as I watched my children’s faces in the twinkling candlight of our Christmas dinner, I really did say a prayer and say thank you. I just know I am so blessed.

And I had to remind myself of this “you are blessed moment” after we finished our pumpkin pie and I began to survey my surroundings and realized how every room on the downstairs floor looked like Toys R Us had dropped a bomb. I thought I had tried to stay on top of it during the day? There was toys and parts of boxes, toys and papers and those damn Polly Pockets spewed everywhere. We went from an idyllic before to an idyllic in a different way after.

I hope all of you had a very Happy Holiday. For us, this was one for the memory books. One I know that my husband John and I will think of when we are alone and the kids are gone. It was as close to perfect as you can get.

Christmas Cheer from my Kidlets

2004-12-24T11:34:00.000-08:00

I think I have found my kid quote for next year's Christmas Card.

Overheard while kids are rearranging aka playing with the Nativity Scene:

Emma: If the baby was shivering in the cold (heard from the Carol "Do you Hear What I Hear" I suspect)and stuck in some food bin with no clothes then why would the wise men only think to bring him Frankincense, Gold and Myrrh?

Dinara: What the baby really needed was a blanket.

Emma: (nodding in agreement and muttering under her breath) Men!!!

Strangest Combination At the Grocery Store

2004-12-23T10:57:00.000-08:00

Jay, on December 22 posted an article about “None of These Things is Like the Other Thing" It’s a post about the strangest combination of items you bought at the grocery store. It just reminded me of a funny story.

I had just accepted a dream job at the big fortune 500 company here in the Pacific NW. I was on cloud nine.

We were two weeks into the new job when I started coming down with something. Something was making me feel horrible. I couldn’t get ahead of it and it seemed to be lingering. Don’t you hate it when sickness screws up a good thing? How could this happen the first two weeks on the new job? What kind of message would I be sending calling in sick? I didn’t think I could do too many more days without taking some time off. I just was feeling so horrible.

I was out to dinner with a friend, celebrating the new job but feeling very very tired and sick. My stomach felt all acidy. Nothing appealed to me but sleeping. I begged out of dinner early so I could get some sleep. Maybe if I got home and into bed by 9pm, I could still make it to work in the morning.

I stopped at Safeway on the way home. I hadn’t eaten much all day and nothing really appealed to me so I picked up an ice cream sandwich. Then I went to the drug isle and picked up some Pepto and some Tums. And on a fluke I grabbed one other thing that maybe could help me diagnosis what the hell was the matter with me.

I dropped the ice cream sandwich, the Pepto and the Tums on the conveyor belt. The pregnancy kit brought up the rear. Wouldn’t it be ironic if after 6 years of infertility this was it? I hated to even get my hopes up. How many pregnancy tests had I purchased in my life? And wouldn't it be ironic that after everything I had gone through that I would be pregnant NOW? I was completely preoccupied with my thoughts when the cashier looked me dead in the eye and said, “Honey, if you need these three other things all that the same time then you really don’t need to verify anything with this,” she said waving the pregnancy kit like a white flag.

And after all those emotional years of never seeing two lines… I found out she was right.

Season's Moments II

2004-12-22T09:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday’s cookie making didn’t go so great. They certainly aren’t good enough to give to anyone. (I know, I know... I'm so type A it's not even funny.) Seems that the shortcut of buying store bought dough then rolling it out and using cookie cutters doesn’t work so great. The cookies spread out so big, they lost their shape!!! So much for shortcuts. I’m not sure I’m going to have time to do the “real deal” today with everything else on my plate. Plus, to be honest, baking isn't really my *thing*. I much prefer eating. Eating is definetely my thing.

We finally closed on the refinancing last night on our house in Florida. This has been going on for so long. I didn’t think it was ever going to happen. It started over 18 months ago when we were about to close and then my husband got laid off 2 days before closing and they yanked the loan. Then they came last week and there was an error and I stopped the closing to make them fix it. And those are just the “big snafus”. I was beginning to think it would never happen. We just kept trying, over and over until it worked. Persistent. That’s me. Gimme a cookie.

I’m debating on taking to see the kids to see Polar Express on Imax. But I get motion sick very easily… and I hate parking in Seattle. So I dunno. Imax would be more memory invoking though, wouldn’t it? (that's rhetorical.) But how great would the memory be if I’m having to close my eyes when that train is barreling down the mountainside in full blown 3D!?!!

On today’s to do list is:
Buy batteries for all the Christmas Stuff
Look up what size batteries Geotrax takes. (anyone?)
Pay Bills (always fun).
Finish laundry. (finish is a euphemism, trust me on this)
Find a leather Ipod holder and inear headphones.
Buy some wine to gift tonight because our stash is low.
Polar Express (to Imax or not to Imax that is the question).
Make the kids clean their freakin’ rooms and the playroom.
Work on the school stuff I didn’t do with Emma and Dinara yesterday.
Place HoneyBaked Ham Store order for Christmas Eve.

Ok… gotta go be productive. Tis the Season!! Have a great day everyone!

Season's Moments

2004-12-21T09:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I got to sleep in till 8:30. Yes friends, this is going to be one of those warm and lovey posts. Settle in. I love this phase where my kids are intuitive enough to pick up on the fact that if they let mommy sleep a bit, they will have a nicer day with a more pleasant mommy. Now if I could just get Noah to transfer that perception and apply it to waking his sisters up.

I spent the morning blogging (its amazing how long it takes to do those Meme's isn't it?) and then straightening the house, then bathing the kidlets and washing everyone’s hair. And at what point can kids wash themselves unsupervised? That's rhetorical because I know it depends on the kid and tons of different factors. Emma, who is very independent, still can’t wash her hair herself. It’s too thick. So it’s a major 45-minute production to do three showers. And of course, Emma is extra difficult right now with the cast.

Then we piled into the minivan and saw Santa. That was a lot of fun. Emma is really struggling to believe. She says she doesn’t, but her actions speak that she really does believe deep down. She just can't rectify the logic of some fat man flying around in a sleigh filled with toys all over the world. When I asked her why she didn’t believe her response was “Have you ever seen a flying reindeer?”

Then I came home and made a delicious dinner of stuffed pork chops. Daddy came home and I retreated to the office and bought legal music off of itunes. Did you know that not all artists are participating in downloadable music? Uh… are they crazy? By not participating in legitimate enterprises, it just means people are going to get their music illegitimately. I listened to Trans-Siberian Orchestra while sipping some hot chocolate. Life is good.

Today I have laundry to do. I am baking cookies with the kids. I am wrapping gifts. I am handling the countless tasks on my to-do list like calling the mortgage company to figure out how to get them to cosign the insurance check from Hurricane Charley. Yay! The check came! Merry Christmas to Me! I will admit that I gave the kids an early present (GameCube Games) so I could get somethings done this morning. And at some point todoay I need to sit down and work on “school stuff” with Dinara and Emma.

Tomorrow we are going to see the Polar Express and then go to a bonfire and caroling with friends if the weather holds out. Which is part of the motivation for cookie baking today.

And John will be off work on Thursday and Friday. We are having friends over for Christmas Eve before heading to church for a candlelight service. My kids are completely full of wonder and excitement. They have told me they are going to BURST before Christmas. I think I might too just from the anticipation of how blessed we are and how awesome this Christmas Season has been to us. (Amazing how employment and no one dying or being hospitalized can put things into perspective and cause you to savor every precious moment!)

I appreciate every single moment of this season. Sure it’s hectic… but I love it.

Three Things Meme

2004-12-20T10:37:00.000-08:00

Oh Thank God Katie asked me to do this We Three Things Meme Cause I am too busy to think of anything creative to write about today.

Three names you go by:
Mommy
Momma
Kymber

Three screennames you have:
Meredith
Kym
Kymberly (damn I'm creative)

Three things you like about yourself:
my ability to focus
my gutter sense of humor
Like Katie, my ability to multitask

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
My upper abs
My flabby thighs
My inability to be generally vulnerable

Three parts of your heritage:
German
Lithuanian
English

Three things that scare you:
Biological or nuclear terrorism
My car driving off a bridge and being unable to get all three children out of the car and to the surface before we drown – or having to choose who to pull up first.
The inside of my fridge

Three of your everyday essentials:
Ralph Lauren Blue
The Coach purse Hubby bought me for my birthday
Kirkland Costa Rican Espresso Roast Coffee

Three things you are wearing right now:
Nike Yoga Pants
Light blue stretchy tee shirt from the gap
Long sleeved brown crocheted shirt from Jjill

Three of your favorite bands/artists at the moment:
Maroon 5
Finger Eleven
Lenny Kravitz

Three of your favorite songs at present:
Blower’s Daughter aka I Can't Take my Eyes off of You(Damien Rice from movie CLOSER)
One Thing (Finger Eleven)
Vertigo (U2)

Three things you want to try in the next 12 months:
Hawaii or Mexico Family Trip
Writing personal thank you notes for everything
An all night date night with hubby, alone, romantic and with no kids.

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
Spontaneous Romanace
Lots of Humor
A Multi-Million Dollar Dowery. (well why the hell not right?)

Two truths and a lie:
I made eggs for breakfast.
I built a church in the Dominican Republic.
I want to move to Florida more then anything.

Three physical things about the opposite (or same) that appeals to you:
Package
Hands
Eyes

Three things you just can't do:
Cry in front of people.
Stop shopping for Christmas
Not drink Peppermint Mochas from Starbucks

Three of your favorite hobbies:
getting to know people on a deeper level
internet (blogs, chat, forum)
reading

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
sleep
hire a nanny
get my kids bathed

Three careers you're considering:
Personal coach
Financial planner
Program manager

Three places you want to go on vacation:
Africa
Italy
South Pacific

Three kids names:
Arden, Piper, Lake

Three things you want to do before you die:
support someone at a birth
Support someone at his or her death
African Safari

Three people who have to take this quiz now or die a slow orgasmic death:

Busy Mom
Chasmyn The Purple Goddess
Mir

Love to hear people's answers to these.... so feel free to post in the comments if ya want!

When betrayal is breath taking

2004-12-19T14:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I saw the movie Closer. I really liked it. I'm trying to figure out how to put into words what I loved most. The casting was supurb. The writing excellent. But I think it was the way each character enveloped their humaness of poor impulse control that touched me the most.

In every relationship you have moments. Moments where you make choices. And those choices can lead to a waterfall of events. And if you are interested in a thought provoking movie about relationships, betrayal and choices... make the choice to see this movie.

Tis the Season to Inventory

2004-12-18T20:39:00.000-08:00

Is it a sign of material excess when you can't remember what you have purchased for each kidlet? As I stood in Target today, fondling the same Princess Polly Pocket type set I know I fondled a week before... I couldn't remember. Did I buy this for Dinara last time or decide against it? So I realize now that I need to seriously inventory the gifts tonight. I need to make sure that everyone has everything I expected and that... I can find it all. I need to search all the secret corners for ebay buys I stashed in closets and cupboards and garage coners -- get all the stuff for the stockings in one place and make sure there's enough for each stocking. I need to formulate a plan. I need to wrap hubby's gifts before he finds them. I need to figure out what's from Grandma and label them appropriately.

I need to get my gift bearings.

And I need to start wrapping.

Oh. My. God. The wrapping. For three kids. And a husband. And gifts for others. And... holy moly. It's going to be a long night.

Dinara: Evaluation Update

2004-12-17T21:24:00.000-08:00

You might remember that Dinara was being reevaluated for her IEP. This is hard because Dinara's learning disabilities are not clear cut. Well, it didn't go so great. It's taken me this long to just get the gumption up to write everything that happened in Dinara’s IEP meeting. Turns out it wasn’t even an IEP meeting… it was just to review her test results.

To boil down a very long story, they gave Dinara an IQ test and said she no longer qualified for special services because she tests in the normal range.

They gave her an IQ test because we got her qualified for an IEP through early intervention based on cognitive delays demonstrated by lower IQ score because that was the easiest to test. Back then; she had language and cognitive delays because she was in an orphanage the first two years of her life. She didn’t know what scissors were or that fire was hot. But she’s caught up now. So she really doesn’t qualify the same way she did when she got here.

Now her issues are processing. Dinara has trouble remembering things in sequence. She can’t repeat back four numbers in a row. She gets the words to songs confused. She has trouble with sounds. She is easily distracted. All these are signs of an Auditory Process Disorder - But they didn't test for that.

They told me she didn’t qualify and looked at me like I was some sort of alien.

I was so frustrated. We always have felt Dinara had a high normal IQ… but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a disability. And I believe that just because she has a disability, doesn't mean she's doomed either. I just think it means we have to work hard to help teach her the skills to deal with it. But first.. I have to get the school on the same page agreeing that there is a problem and then in agreement on defining it, then agreement on what to do about it.

So I asked them to please test her in other areas. I told them that I wasn’t disagreeing with these test results, but really that they didn’t choose the right tests to highlight the problems.

The school psychologist gave me a blank stare. She told me that I should be happy because Dinara doesn’t need special education. Now they would give Dinara some speech pathology and some reading help in a small group setting… but that she would be losing her specialized 1 to 1 time with the special ed teacher. I believe that all the progress Dinara has made this year is because of this 1 to 1 help. So she agreed with me when I said, “So now that you guys have found a successful way to work with my daughter you are going to change everything”. Uh yeah.

It was all I could do not to scream "what’s wrong with you people!!!" To me this is so obvious.

I told them I would sign the results because I did believe that her IQ was normal. But I asked the school psychologist to please test her auditory processing and writing. And I told her that I saw us as a “team” and that I really needed her expertise here. I needed her to help me define what disabilities my daughter is dealing with. And I told her if I couldn’t get help at the school…. We’d be seeking private consultation. She didn’t agree to any testing. She didn’t agree to anything I said. I felt like I was talking to a wall.

I left that meeting deflated. Our school district is known for it’s great special education services and I felt like I had just let my daughter down. Even though she didn’t meet her IEP goals, they were going to take her off the IEP.

I came home and decided to fight. I ordered $200 worth of books from Barnes and Noble on Auditory Processing Disorder and how to work the system for IEPs. I was (am) going to have to be better informed to fight this fight. I began educating myself on various laws and procedures for how to fight the school for services.

(By the way every parent who has to deal with IEPs should read the book WrightsLaw: From Emotions to Advocacy – The Special Education Survival Guide )

Next day… low and behold the School psychologist called me. She told me she had thought about what I had said and decided that Dinara needed more testing. WHOOT! And she decided to give her a test that would highlight her reading and word sound difficulties. I’m convinced that what really got to her was me saying I was going to go private. Cause if the private sources found something wrong, I could come back and ask the school district to cover the costs of testing.

Yesterday I got the results of that test. Dinara has a definite processing disorder. I am not "happy" to hear she has a disorder, but I am happy to finally have a name for it. And to have the school district in some sort of agreement and not pulling services. And I am now AHEAD of where I was before. Now Dinara will get help on Reading AND Writing. She will qualify under Learning Disabilities. And she will also get Speech Pathology, which I couldn’t get her qualified for under Early Intervention because she was ESL. So she’s ahead of the game on services.

So… the next step is that I have asked them to send me the copies of the tests. I am going to be having an IEP meeting in Mid January. I plan on asking for Dinara to be tested by an Audiologist… Or I will simply go ask my pediatrician to send me to someone and then take the results to the meeting.

I feel vindicated even though the work is far from over. I feel like I just got an excellent Christmas Present. My daughter is going to get the services she needs.

Holiday Advice

2004-12-16T09:56:00.000-08:00

This is such sage advice. I thank my wonderful husband for thinking of me when he sent it.

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Rinse with a Cosmo. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. Or if you are eating *my* mashed potatos you'll enjoy the bacon, chives, cheese and whipping cream.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread all tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Cookie Quest

2004-12-15T16:21:00.000-08:00

Please share your favorite Christmas Cookie Recipe. I'm looking for really YUMMY cookies. Share in the comments or link me to your site!!!

Kym's Favorite Snowball Cookies

1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups flour
1/2 cup chopped pecans
additional powdered sugar

Cream butter, sugar and vanilla until fully mixed. Add flour with salt to creamed mixture, blend throughly. Add nuts and mix well. Chill dough for 1 hour. Preheat oven to 400F. Shape into 1-inch balls and bake 8-10 minutes. Do not brown. Cool, then roll in powdered sugar.

To my fellow DS WLS patients you can make this recipe DS friendly by substituting 1 1/4 cups of the white flour for WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR. Tastes really good and you can't tell the difference. Actually, whole wheat flour's nutty flavor enhances the cookie in my opinion.

Store Bought Guilt

2004-12-14T16:59:00.000-08:00

I got this note home from Emma's class that we have to send in some "traditional family food" to share with the class on Thursday. I just *know* it's the "super mom" classroom mother who came up with this brilliant plan. She who-never-is-too-busy-to-add-on-stupid-baking-requirements-to-an-already-horrificly-busy-time-of-year.

Anyway....

I haven't done our baking yet for this year... it's been kind of hectic. I'm going to, but was planning on putting it off till the kids were home so we could do it together. (yeah... that's it). I'm drowning in holiday requirements. Think Emma will buy that OUR family tradition includes not baking cookies, but buying them from Costco for us to share? Yeah, I don't think so either.

Which is why I will be up tonight till 11pm not only baking something for the class, but also for the brownie party tomorrow.

And let me just say this is an incredible business opportunity. Paying someone lots of money to make dozens of homemade Christmas cookies you can pass off as your own....

I'm drawn to you like a magnet baby!

2004-12-14T07:59:00.000-08:00

This was overheard while Dinara and Noah were admiring Emma's new Boot for her leg.

Dinara: Why didn't you get the pretty blue cast?
Emma: Because he didn't offer it.
Dinara: This is nice too.
Emma: Yeah. It's like wearing a big comfy blanket.
Noah: It's hard on the bottom. (knocks on it for effect)
Emma: Yeah. There are screws in there ya know.
Dinara: Really?
Noah: How do you know?
Emma: I saw them on the Xray.
Noah: Yeah but how do you know for sure.
Emma: You mean how do I know it was my Xray?
Noah: Yeah.
Emma: Hmmmm. Go get a magnet and lets hold it up to my ankle and see if it sticks!
Noah: Great idea Emma!

Bathtub Usefulness

2004-12-12T13:55:00.000-08:00

My God...the laundry never ends!!!!

Calgon... Take me AWAY!!!!

Which reminds me... we all agree what bathtubs are really good for right?

Unexpected Suprises

2004-12-11T14:40:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas. And sure, I do love the spirit of the season, the smell of cookies baking and watching the lights on the tree twinkle. But let’s be honest for a moment. I really do love gifts. The kid in me just still loves unexpected surprises.

And yesterday, we hit the motherload.

My husband has that new job he started. He’s only been there a couple of weeks. He likes it. It seems like a great company but he hasn’t had much time to meet many people yet. So imagine our surprise when they brought him a box of gifts to take home to the family. Each child got a wrapped gift. When the kids opened the gift, it was a very pretty antique looking snow globe and music box. Very nice. And very pretty. And very unexpected.

But wait. There’s more!

But what really caught us by surprise was the little treasure tucked in the bottom of each box. Nestled underneath the tissue paper, shining like a bright yellow star in the sky, was a $50 gift certificate for EACH KID to Toys R Us! Boo Yah! Score one of the new employer! Isn’t that really nice? And for mom and dad, there was a small Christmas cash bonus. Isn’t that cool? I mean the fact he’s only been there 2 weeks and still gets something. True Christmas Spirit.

They also gave him a “welcome” gift basket too which included 2 movie tickets, $25 dollar gift certificate to the local mall, a gift certificate to a local eatery and a box of Godiva Truffles. Only thing missing was the free babysitting!

Not a bad haul. I'm grateful. I guess unexpected surprises still can make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Four Year Old Lesson for Today

2004-12-10T10:40:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, as a mother, it's easier to teach your children by describing what something isn't versus what it is. Here's my example for today:

Dearest little Noah. Please keep in mind that toliet Paper is NOT:

--Stuff they use to make casts for either people or stuffed animals.
--Wrapping paper for presents.
--Crepe Paper for decorating.
--Snow for your Rescue Heros to play in.
--White stuff you just throw away just to get to the cool cardboard insert.

Much love,

--Mommy

Bah Humbug

2004-12-09T13:37:00.000-08:00

We just got our Christmas Card from Fidelity. And you know who it was addressed to? My husband. Just him.

Really irritates me. One because guess who is responsible for most of the money in there? Guess who makes the money decisions in our house? Guess who's in charge of investing? Guess who actually PICKED Fidelity as our brokerage?

Heh. So do I seem like a real scrouge if I call my "Private Access Account Manager" and let them know how irritated I am that they only sent the card to the "man" in the family?

Yeah. I got their holiday message loud and clear. Merry Freakin' Christmas but only to the people in the house we think are managing the money because they have a penis.

Teacher gifts

2004-12-08T15:23:00.000-08:00

What do you buy your kids teachers as gifts? Give me some good ideas!!! And how much do you spend? And do you buy assistant teachers in preschool? Thanks in advance!

Famous Person Sex

2004-12-07T21:48:00.000-08:00

Hubby and I were just watching Scrubs. And I pointed out that I think that Zach has made it into my top ten list. My husband and I each have a list of top ten stars that the other gives us permission “to do” if they ever are interested.

Then I basically told my husband that, in truth, if any famous person decides they wanted to do me, I’d email him to let him know, but I’d probably just go for it and claim I just reshuffled my list. I assured him it would just be a sex with a famous person thing. He paused for a moment and then gave me his one condition: If I'm having sex with Tea Leoni, he gets to watch.

Deal.

Money Saving Tip for the Grocery Store

2004-12-07T09:06:00.000-08:00

Every year at Thanksgiving I always have to buy new Ginger and new Cloves to make Pumpkin Pie. I throw out the old. The pie tastes so much better with fresh spices. But in my grocery store, spices are expensive! I sometimes can get Ginger for $5 for a small container on sale, but Ground Cloves is always over $6.

This year I went to the organic section of my grocery store. (TOP FOODS) They have a bulk spices section. I hit PAYDIRT. I was able to replace both spices for less then a buck. That's an $11 savings! And I was out of Rosemary too, so next time I went back and bought that. I bought more then what fits in my jar for 51 cents!!! YIPPEEE. Another savings of $5.50!

Anyway... I just wanted to pass this along to other frugal gourmets out there. A new place to save some money and it beats cutting coupons!!!

How many?

2004-12-06T19:48:00.000-08:00

How many presents do your kids have to open for the holidays? Does anyone mind sharing that info? And do you equalize it out based on cost or by "number of gifts?"

The boring and not witty post

2004-12-06T13:03:00.000-08:00

I wish I was motivated to write something interesting... but I'm not. I guess that is the sign of a good writer. Someone who can take the ordinary and make it funny or interesting. Like Busy Mom or Mir. I aspire to that. But it ain't happening today.

It's one pm. And here's what I've done.

Emma is home today. She'll go to school tomorrow.
I got her gifted program application filled out and in the mail.
I got a shower.
I am now trying to make final decisions on my online gift shopping. Not making much progress because Im trying to find places that won't charge me our 9.2% sales tax and yet places where I can combine shipping and offer free shipping.
I made Emma's doctor appointment for her hard cast for next week.
I handled 2 inquiries on the house.
I put in another call to the insurance company.
I got Noah and Dinara off to school.
I picked Noah up from school.
I cleaned up the kitchen.
I stuffed porkchops for dinner.
I played Shrek with Noah.
I made the kids a nutritious lunch of Spagettios
I put in a load of wash.
And I ate two pieces of delicious chocolate cake. (damn you Rosemary *grin*)

And now I can add "wrote a blog post" to my little list. And its only 1:08.

Emotional Sucking Sounds

2004-12-04T11:39:00.000-08:00

Emma's doing better. Now the pain meds are making her nauseated but at least she's been able to sleep.

Me on the other hand... I'm wrung out. I feel like I've run a marathon. Complete with shin splints. From Emma whacking me with her cast when she turned over last night.

I do not do needy very well.

Do you ever feel like you are an *emotional suck* on your friends? {envision water going down the drain and then you hear that big slurping sound} I have that feeling. This year has just been so nonstop drama in my house. It's been humbling. I wonder if the lesson I am supposed to be learning is to be a better taker? Because all this shit keeps happening and if I need to be a better taker to make it stop, I'll get it this time. I really will!! Just. Make. It. All. Stop.

I'm off to go shopping for a party I'm having tomorrow. Heh. Yeah. Isn't that great? I should have canceled it. But I thought Em would come through the surgery better. It will all work out.

I'm off to the grocery store. I think chocolate chip cookie dough would make me feel a lot better.

Emma update

2004-12-03T13:55:00.000-08:00

Another quick post.

Emma had a rough time in surgery. She has had a hard time getting ahead of the pain. Coming out of anesthesia was particularly rough for her.

The doctor said it didn’t look like there was too much joint damage. He’s cautiously optimistic and said it all depend on how it heals if it will require more surgery (other then the pins being removed). He did have to put in two pins and clean out a lot of debris.

Emma ran a temp and her oxygen kept dropping because of all the pain meds they were pumping into her. So she stayed in the hospital last night. Now that she has been up and moving a bit, it seems like her temp is a bit better. Plus I think she was fighting off a cold before we even started this whole adventure.

She is now trying to get some sleep and is resting with lots of comfy pillows, her build a bear and a cozy down blanket in mommy’s room. I’m praying she gets some good sleep in.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers! I’ll update more tomorrow.

Emma's Surgery

2004-11-30T09:04:00.000-08:00

This will be a fast post as I have more to do today then I have hours in the day. Yesterday we found out that my daughter Emma has to have surgery. The bottom of the tibia broke clean through in several directions in the inner ankle, and they need to put a pin in to hold it in place. She’ll then be put in a soft cast for another week while the swelling goes down, then a hard cast for 4 weeks, then probably a brace and physical therapy. Then in 8 months to a year we’ll have another surgery to remove the pin. The doctor said something about possibly needing more surgeries, but I was too freaked out by the impending surgery to really get many of those details. I got woozy after “grade 3, needs a pin”.

To say that I am terrified is an understatement. I handle medical stuff pretty well. But this is the first time one of my kids has faced surgery. And since my mom contracted MRSA in the hospital, I had uncontrollable pain with one of my surgeries, my wound opened on my hysterectomy and required many extra months healing from the outside in, my husband had weeks of mystery pain from his surgery… we just don’t take this stuff lightly. Last night I woke up 5 times… and my first thought was always that Emma has to have surgery. I guess I’m a bit freaked out by it.

The good news is with all the surgery my family has faced over the last three years, Emma isn’t freaked out by surgery. My kids see surgery as pretty “normal” stuff. No different then a trip to the ER with some extra recovery time at the end.

So if you are the praying sort, Emma’s surgery is scheduled for 2:30 on Thursday. I’d appreciate any good thoughts, white light, or prayers you could send our way.

Toy Store List Rant

2004-11-29T09:53:00.000-08:00

I miss my local Zany Brainy. Sure they weren't perfect but they were *different* then Toys R Us. Can I rant a moment?

I miss having toy stores where there are real wood toys that are built with quality products. I want a larger selection. I want more educational toys that are fun. I want things without a billion pieces. And although I have a few favorite stores, I really wish Toys R Us would hire some buyers with kids and only put USABLE and QUALITY toys in their stores instead of filling the isles with rows of crap.

And while I'm ranting, how about hiring a decent editorial staff for online stores that can really describe an item? I want to know how it's played with, what type of child would like it, how difficult it is, etc. And if you have a website please break the toys up by ages AND gender. And how 'bout of some that "if your child likes Polly Pockets, they would also probably like XXXX". Give me suggestions, make objective reviews. Offer me additional content that will keep me coming back to your site. And while you are at it, please make sure if I use your search function that I can look at different products and use my back button without pages expiring.

I thought in the spirit of the season I would link you to a few of my favorite toy stores. They don't have all the features I would love to have, but they do have some varied products from the same ole same ole Toys R' US program. And for what it's worth, Walmart.com is beating Toys R US prices this year by a good 5% and if you use Upromise, they will donate 5% to your kids college fund. WHOOT! I’d love it if you would tell me yours!

Back to Basics Toys
Constructive Playthings
Hearthsong
Hightlights for Kids
Mindware
Spilsbury
Toys to Grow On
Young Explorers

Maybe if we all write a post about what isn't working with toy stores... our collective voices will be heard!!

Playroom Organization 101

2004-11-28T13:46:00.000-08:00

So… why didn’t I blog this morning like usual? Because WHOOT! I was cleaning out the playroom! Fun for the whole family. Really. (not!) I try to do a good job on it once a quarter, but it usually happens only twice a year. This is when I go through every bin and resort, throw out stuff, move furniture to vacuum and get rid of old toys. Today we did it under the guise of “getting ready for New Toys”. But I really do it because if our toys aren’t organized, the kids don’t play with them. They can’t play with what they can’t “see”.

So I thought I’d share a little bit of my organization system. The main key to my system is that all the toys are either in the kids’ rooms or in the playroom. They take toys to other parts of the house, but their “home” is in these rooms and we have trained the kids pretty well to mostly play in the playroom. If we keep it nice and organized they actually want to be in there because it feels good.

See the wall shelves? See how some are very high? You may be thinking “Why would she do that? Doesn’t make sense in a kids play room.” Au Contraire!! This is where I put toys with lots of pieces when my kids were under four to save my sanity. That way, when they wanted to play with a messy toy, I had to bring it down for them. And then they had to clean it up so I could put it back when they were finished. Really works well. Now I use the top shelf for pretty looking stuffed animals and toys I am “cycling in and out”. So if it’s a toy that needs a “break” it goes on the high shelf till the next time we “recycle”.

For the first time, since Noah is now 4 ½ I am moving the “little Knex” and “little Legos” and some of the puzzles down to the bottom shelf. High enough for Noah to reach, but still out of reach for our little friends who come and visit and play toys. We’ll see how that works. I’ll report back.

We have hooks on the walls for purses, backpacks and bags. We have books I “cycle in” into the bookshelf. We only keep one shelf of books at a time because I have found that if there are two many, the kids just don’t use them.

Each kid has his or her own wire shelf. Everything has bins…and we try REALLY HARD to have “miscellaneous bins”. They start out empty. Actually, when the miscellaneous bins get full, that’s my key to know that it’s time to do a cleaning.

I got these awesome baskets on sale at Target for like fifty cents and we love them. We have a basket for cars and a basket for “little people and animals”. I’ve found the key to successful basket management is to make sure you have a basket that has “room to grow” so as your kids collect more McDonald toys, there is a place to put them.

All my kids help with the cleaning. The other key to my organizational system is that we have pictures on the bigger bins and everyone in my family (including my husband) knows where things go. You can see under the wire shelf above our "Transportation Bin" where all things transportation go. It takes me longer to actually include them (yes, both the husband and the kids!) in this cleaning project, but it pays for itself down the road because they understand where things go. Although it took us me ~~three~~ four hours to do this project, we really do feel all accomplished!

Feeling all Naked and Christmasy

2004-11-27T13:23:00.000-08:00

Time to ramble about the extraordinary mundane called my life.… isn’t that great how I tied that in to the site title? Aren’t you impressed? Aren’t you? You there, BE surfer… tell me am I exciting you? If I told you I was typing this naked would that work?

I wonder how many google hits I’ll get from typing this naked.

Have I mentioned before that it’s difficult to have family on the east coast? Oh wait, I guess that post was just about having a difficult family. Anyway… it is. They make bad judgment calls about what time it is appropriate for a mom to three to be up in the morning. No matter how many times I tell them to not call before 9am, they don’t seem to get the message.

It was a productive morning. I got our Christmas decorations up. The new tree is all decorated and pretty. The nativity scene is out and there are lights over each of the fireplaces and fake pine garland up the banister in the hall. I love Christmas. I love everything about it. Except the crowds. I don’t like shopping in crowds. Which is why I do a lot of shopping online.

Speaking of crowds, I did brave them yesterday to visit Target and to Best Buy. Best Buy had Mp3 players for only $30 bucks. Isn’t that awesome? Yeah well my store had 500 of them and they sold out in the first 9 minutes. The store opened at 6am. I was not there. So I did not get any MP3 player.

I was much more successful at Target. I bought lots of stocking stuffers and decorations for the outside of our house. I bought these tacky white trees that light up. They come in different sizes and I’ve had the brilliant idea to make a forest of them in our front yard. (Shaddup. It will be cute.) Maybe I’ll take a picture and you all can vote and tell me if it’s as tacky as having pink flamingos staked in the garden. I’m doing this because our roofline is so high and my husband has refused to put up lights this year. And if I pay someone, it’s really expensive. So I am doing this because it’s all at ground level and it’s CHEAP. You all know what a motivator frugality is for me.

So I think I’m going to head downstairs and make myself a cup of hot chocolate and have some turkey leftovers. Cause let me tell ya, my turkey was awesome this year. I put bacon and chives in the mashed potatoes and used some bacon in the giblet gravy. It’s amazing the magic of bacon. Bacon is now my signatuer cooking flavor.

The leftovers are calling me. I must go. But I’ll put on clothes first.

Pain in the Foot

2004-11-26T19:13:00.000-08:00

Today I did the obligatory phone calls across America with family. The hardest one was with my mom.

Last time my mom had surgery on her foot, Her doctor didn’t put her on prophylactic antibiotics. (Mom's had multiple bouts with infections in her feet due to poor microcirculation.) When her foot started “looking” a bit infected he still resisted. He wasted over a week and put her on an antibiotic without first culturing the foot. There are countless “Mistakes” my sister and I believe this doctor has made. So of course, we are thrilled to hear that his surgery schedule is too full and mom will need to go to someone else.

But my mom is being difficult. She doesn’t want to go to a different doctor. She likes her incompetent one. I find this so frustrating. Here she is a nurse, and she’s basing her decision on bedside manner instead of clininical skill. I’m not sure when It happened exactly, but my mom stopped acting like an adult in the past few years and now I am finding I have to play the role of parent.

Since I am already a parent to three, I’m not relishing this role!!!

To further complicate matters, My middle sister takes the Licensure exam in December at the same time my mom is probably going to have surgery or be recovering from the amputation. My mom thinks that my Dad, with his Alzheimer’s, will be able to take care of her. That he will be able to help her go to the bathroom, feed her, go to the grocery store, drug store, handle cleaning the house, etc. She isn’t being realistic.

So when I gently tried to discuss this with her today, so we could develop a plan, she went into full Martyr mode. Oh, we’ll be fine. You are blowing this out of proportion. It’s only a few weeks till your sister comes back.

When I pointed out to her that this was stressing my sister out at what is the most important test of her life, she still basically thought we were being ridiculous.

It’s very difficult to manage your parents on the other side of the country. I can’t just fly to Florida because there is no one to take care of my kids. So I offered to pay to have a cleaning service come in once a week and to pay for someone to come in and help out. No… she doesn’t want that – I’m being ridiculous and everything will be fine.

Well…at what point does one say “Too damn Bad Mom…this is the way it’s going to be?” Or at what point do I throw up my hands and say… “You’re an adult, it’s your life and go do whatever you want?”

I’m truthfully doing a lot of this simply because I don’t want my sister to be stressed out during this Important time. Is that awful to say? Is it awful to find it very easy to abandon my parents and simply “not deal” but not so easy to do that to my sister?

And I’m resentful as well. Resentful of the fact that my mom can’t see that decisions she is making or not, are effecting the rest of us. She’s not communicating. She’s not setting expectations. Part of her doesn’t want any help, and then she resents when people don’t step up to help proactively. We are all supposed to fight through her dysfunction.

Oh my God, we sound so dysfunctional don’t we?

My mom takes care of her mom after the death of my grandfather. She sleeps there every night and does her grocery shopping and helps meet her general needs. Well… my mom really isn’t signing up to find her “replacement” while she’s sick. Although she says it’s “covered” she’s not communicating how. Who’s going to take care of grandma? Mom thinks her brother and sister should come down but has yet to pick up the phone and call them. She needs them to help set Grandma’s expectations about the cost of “hiring help” but hasn’t talked to them. She would like them to come down and help, but yet she doesn’t communicate what’s happening unless she has “certainties” and so because she doesn’t have a surgery date, she doesn’t tell them anything but will be MAD when they don’t drop everything and come down with no notice. I tried to explain to her that people need 14 days notice to be able to get cheaper airfares and her response was “I do this all the time, they should understand this is surgery and I have no control”. Ok … fine. But communicate with them.

I hate managing family stuff. My other sister is taking her vacation time and going to take care of my mom the week following her surgery. They have big money issues… my mom didn’t offer to pay her ticket. That really bugs me too. Why wouldn’t she do that?

I don’t like the person my mom is evolving into as she ages. And then the other part of me wonders if I am just not being patient enough and all this is bothering me just because I am trying to distance myself from the pain.

Measuring in Moments with Thankfulness

2004-11-24T09:18:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all the well wishes for Emma’s leg yesterday. It always amazes me the love and kindness of people in an online community. Haven’t even met most of you, and yet you are there with support. Thanks.

It’s been a difficult year with John’s ruptured appendix, my grandfather’s death, my father’s diagnosis with Alzheimer’s, my mom’s impending amputation, Noah and Emma’s leg fractures and John being out of work for most of the year. And yet in my life I have so much to be thankful for – things that might be easily taken for granted. But only if I don’t stop to reflect.

So, Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! And this holiday always makes me reflective. Reflective on what a good life I have. I have so much to be thankful for this year, even through all the pain.

And so I’ll measure this life by moments instead of days, weeks or seasons. I’ll use my moments to reflect on what is right and good. I'll spend this holiday season reflecting on all the moments I have to be grateful for and I'll start today by listing some of them here:

1. 365 cups of perfect coffee
2. More cuddles from people who love me then I can count.
3. 5 people pulled by dolphins
4. 1-week rental of Nintendo Mario Kart and racing all three of my kids at once.
5. 3 hours of snorkeling with my girls.
6. 10 wonderful days with my dad seeming like his “old self” and enjoying my children.
7. Countless days of watching our dog greet my children with licks and tail wagging after they have been gone and seeing the joy on everyone’s faces from the reunion.
8. 8 days of being together with extended family at the Happiest Place on Earth.
9. 14 flashes of recognition as Dinara remembers a new phenome.
10. A handful of “kid date” times alone with each of my kids.
11. 525,600 minutes of having all my family still enjoying this life with me.
12. 8 months of having my house feel like my sanctuary with my new furniture and loving the restorative feeling it provides for me.
13. 2920 hours of sleeping on 1000 thread sateen sheets.
14. 1 last phone call with my grandfather before he passed away.
15. 31,536,000 seconds of not having to go to a job that takes me away from my kids.
16. 1 man whom I can depend on - no matter what.
17. 1 Apple Ipod with over 995 songs to keep me bopping.
18. An online community of about 2-dozen women who have all adopted internationally or are in process to do so and the support and grounding they provide for me.
19. 3 boxes of See’s Chocolate.
20. 12 full months of health insurance coverage.

There are thousands more of course…. We all have them. What the moments you are thankful for and using to measure your life this year? I’d love to see your list!!

Emma broke her leg

2004-11-23T07:56:00.000-08:00

Today is a really hectic day for me. My kids have half days all week and last night Emma broke her leg. I have to spend my day making appointments. Why? Well because we are on "fill in" insurance till my husband's new job insurance kicks in. And I have to select a provider, try to get fitted for crutches, and make an appointment before the holidays with the pediatric orthapedist all before 11:30am when I have to pick the kiddos up. I have to call TODAY because it's a bad break in the ankle and could require surgery and we have the holiday weekend coming up. If you are the praying sort, please pray for no surgery. Please.

How did she do it? She tripped at her friends house. They were putting on a show and she fell coming off the stage. (aka the stairs) Just landed wrong I guess.

They just know us in the ER this year!

In other happier news, Dinara lost her tooth! And the Tooth Fairy visited our house last night. It was just a very exciting evening all the way around.

And not to make this about me...but SERIOUSLY...this was my only free day to do holiday grocery shopping. WHAAA! Guess I'll be shopping at the 24 hour place after the kids are asleep. And just to vent some more... can I just say I hate these freakin' half school days?

Couldn't say it better myself

2004-11-22T08:04:00.000-08:00

[scene chaotic morning trying to get three kids ready for school]

Me: You guys are being too noisy this morning.
Noah: Yeah everyone needs to just shut up!
Dinara: Hey, that's a bad word!
Emma: Bad word, but great idea.

Barf-O-Rama

2004-11-20T23:16:00.000-08:00

It's 11:20pm and I just cleaned up Dinara after she barfed all over herself while sleeping. At 8pm, when she told me her tummy hurt, I was hoping for something psychosomatic since her sister barfed at 7pm. You know... that whole "sympathy barf" thing that happens to all of us when a family member blows chunks. You wonder... am I getting it or is this all in my head? At that time, with one kid only sick, you hold out hope it's something they ate versus a virus.

*sob* That dream is over. Looks like a virus. I hate when my family gets the pukes en masse.

Say a little prayer for me.

Merry Freakin' Christmas Picture

2004-11-20T11:12:00.000-08:00

Who started this sending holiday picture tradition anyway? You know when you read those articles in Oprah and Redbook about doing away with the one tradition that makes you break out in a cold sweat and doesn’t give you joy? This would be my one. But I do it, because I committed in college and to my far away friends to send out at least a Christmas card every year. I might be crappy with maintaining friendships the rest of the year, but when the yuletide spirit hits… dammit I’m right there with a perky family Christmas Card. And at least I know then that I will have one picture a year of our family, looking decent and presentable. So it’s like killing two birds with one stone.

Yes I really do tell myself all of this. You should hear the conversations in my head.

We took our Christmas pictures this morning. This is no small feat. Cause everyone looks at the picture and thinks... Oh... look at them. How sweet. It looks EASY. WRONG WRONG WRONG.

The process started last night when I decided that we all needed to wear the same color shirt. And since black is thinning... and I feel like everyone is looking at this stupid picture to see if I have put on any weight after my 2 1/2 years after weight loss surgery... decided black is a good choice. But my children don't have black clothes. Because... well... I don't think black is a good color for kids. So I went to Target and bought black shirts for those who didn’t have them.

Then the weather needed to cooperate because everyone knows that good pictures are all about lighting. This is a big deal in Seattle since it’s cloudy and rainy a lot. But the weather gods smiled on us and it was sunny today. And of course, the pictures have to be taken in the morning because we live above the 45 parallel and that means it starts to get dark here around 4pm and the light isn’t as good. So this means everyone had to be up and ready for the pictures by 10am. Because we had a birthday party to be at 11am.

You can count this as a horrid scheduling error on my part. We needed way more time for breathing room to stay calm.

So we got everyone fed and did showers. Showers for five. Blow Dry hair. Don't use conditioner on the hair so it dries faster. Deal with kids screaming I am hurting them when I am brushing out the hair. Time saved by not using conditioner but dealing with screaming kids? Prolly a wash.

Daddy gets himself ready. That’s it. Just himself. Sound familiar? Yeah. We won't go there.

I scramble to get everyone’s teeth brushed.
I scramble to make sure everyone is dressed.
I scramble to do girlie hair.
I put some gel on Noah’s cowlicks.
I put makeup on myself.
I fasten necklaces and put in earrings.

I yell down to hubby to make sure that he has the directions for the party “printed out and ready to go”. I tell him to make sure the camera has batteries and to set up the tripod.

I finish up with the kids. I make sure I am presentable. Damn we all look good!

I come downstairs and John is scrambling. He can’t find the doohickey to attach the camera to the tripod. It’s now 10:10. He has to leave at 10:35. We are already dangerously behind schedule. I’m pissed. If he would put stuff back where it’s supposed to go, we wouldn’t have to scramble for it when we really need it.

I start taking pictures of just the three kids. Kids are grumpy and won’t keep their hands off each other. Why can’t Sanibel, our dog, be in the picture? Why is Noah squeezing me? Why aren’t you and daddy in this picture? Can we go yet? UGHHHHH. But at least if we can’t have the family shot, I’ll have some cute pictures of the kids.

John finally figures duct tape will hold the camera on the tripod. We take about 14 poses. And this is what we came up with.

I guess it was worth it. Merry Freakin’ Christmas Everyone.

Poker

2004-11-19T21:48:00.000-08:00

I think I'm seriously becoming addicted to Texas Hold 'Em.
Now I just need to find me some rich friends to play with!

Dinara's Difficulties

2004-11-19T08:59:00.000-08:00

For those of you new to my blog, my two youngest children were adopted from Kazakhstan. Dinara was a toddler when we brought her home. She spent the first two and half years of her life in an orphanage. It seems like yesterday when we first met our daughter.

Dinara has an obvious normal to high IQ. She has what I call “street smarts” but in academics, she is obviously working at a huge disadvantage. When we describe the issues she has to professionals, we call it a “memory leak”. It’s very hard to articulate what is wrong but it is obvious that there is something really wrong. Dinara has a hard time accessing information in her short-term memory. She has trouble remembering proper names. She can’t remember shapes of letters, their names, or what they look like. Amazingly, she has an easier time remembering sounds… so it seems like maybe a big part of this is a visual processing problem.

An example of something that is hard for Dinara is I can write the letter z on a white board, ask her what it is, she won’t know, I’ll say it’s a “zee”. She nods. I’ll erase it and write the exact same letter again. I’ll see the “flash of recognition” in her eyes but she will be unable to articulate what I just told it was. She can’t remember. As you can imagine, this is a huge stumbling block.

So yesterday we got report cards and Dinara’s teacher made comments that are inferring a diagnosis I strongly believe is simply a “catch all”. Can’t focus, can’t complete work without one to one support, cannot work well independently. No talk of memory, simply highlighting ability to focus. When I pair this with the phone call I had with the school psychologist several weeks ago I can see them heading to label her ADD.

The thing is… I know it’s not ADD. And if she does have a touch of ADD, it’s not even close to the primary problem. Dinara is highly motivated and can sit for an hour at a time engrossed in things she wants to do. She can set a goal and achieve it... but sometimes she needs help remembering what the goal was... but once she remembers the goal, she does it. ADD is simply the catch all that they use because they don’t know what the hell is going on. There is no DSM definition for “spent the first 2 ½ years of your life in a third world orphanage”. And yet, there is a need, to label it. Label it so we can fix it. And I support that, because trust me, my type A personality would love nothing more then for this to be fixed. If there was a pill that could be popped and make this all better, I'd be all for it. But that's ridiculous. We have to overcome the disadvantages she faces from the first three critical years of her life. And you have to label the primary problem… and not just slap some label on that seems “sorta like it but not really because we don’t know what it is”.

So what do I do now? I wait. I wait for the preliminary testing to come back. I wait for the next IEP meeting. We continue trying all the different therapies we learn about and pay out of pocket. And if they label her with ADD, I appeal it and make the school district pay for more expensive testing to help us point out exactly what is going on.

The hardest part about all this is that it makes your heart hurt. It’s some objective person pointing out that your child isn’t perfect and the hand that they have been dealt is going to make life more difficult. And isn’t what we all want for our kids is an easier path then what we had?

Dear Crest Toothpaste

2004-11-18T13:44:00.000-08:00

How bout you make a toothpaste that doesn't harden like glue to sinks after kids spit? And how bout you make toothpaste that tastes good that is the color WHITE and not some neon blue that glares brightly against the tile and sinks? Something that blends in with the grout would be appreciated.

Thanks for your consideration.

signed,

A parent of three kids who never rinse out the sink and who have been known to fingerpaint with toothpaste

10 great things by 9am

2004-11-18T09:14:00.000-08:00

Hello Blog Explosion 30 Second Wonders! Welcome. Pull up a chair and enjoy your 30 seconds. If you blogmark me, I'll visit your site and shower you with rating kindness. Enjoy your stay!

If you have been thinking about joining Blog Explosion and wondering what all the hype is about... it's an easy way to get traffic and find great blogs. So please do join... and if you would be so kind to join using my link, I'll shower you with goodness. Really Really.

Nothing much has happened really interesting to me in the last 24 hours so I figured I'd take a few moments to reflect on the joy in my life this morning. (And I'm not being sarcastic here for once!)

My new clock radio woke me softly to the sounds of the song 100 Years.

My husband snuggled me.

Dinara gave me an impromptu hug after getting dressed.

Hubby (without prompting!) had made Emma’s lunch for her field trip last night so I didn’t have to do it this morning.

Noah got 2nd place on Mario Cart Grand Prix.

There was enough half and half left for the perfect cup of coffee.

We got the girls to school on time.

The preschool staff came out early to get Noah so I got an extra five minutes.

My house is blissful quiet and peaceful.

My dog curled up on my feet to go to sleep and is keeping my toes toasty while writing this post.

Overheard

2004-11-17T13:15:00.000-08:00

Dinara talking to her Daddy:
Daddy what do you do at work?
Do you get to play with grown up stuff?

Emma's comments to me after reviewing the calendar
Mom guess what?
We have all half days next week before we are off two days for Thanksgiving.
That means we have TONS of time to go to Build A Bear together!
Aren’t we lucky?

Noah to me in the car
If you loved me you'd stop and buy me a slurpee.

Vacation Memories

2004-11-16T13:20:00.000-08:00

Going through vacation photos to figure out what to develop for prosperity... and there are some nice pictures, some pictures that invoke memories, and some pictures that make me laugh and maybe are best left in the recycle bin. You be the judge (and jury!).

On the Monorail

Loving Everything Disney!

Daddy and Dinara at the Luau

Emma and Mickey!

Noah and Mommy Soaking Up the Sun

Here are the funny ones that most normal people wouldn't share on their blog. But no censoring here folks!

The One Where it Looks Like My Boob is Falling Out

The One Where Gary trys to Make me Hot

The One Where my Four Year Old Son Feels Up his Aunt

The One Where my Husband Likes To Watch Me Eat A Frozen Banana

New Job!

2004-11-15T09:29:00.000-08:00

Hear that?

*cue crickets chirping here*

That is the sound of silence. For the first time in way too long, there are no other people in my house but ME. Me. I am alone. I love alone. It’s so quiet. It’s so peaceful. It’s like a gift. Did I mention I love crickets?

Anyway, hubby started his brand spankin’ new full time job today.

*cue choir of angels singing here*

It’s not the best job, but it’s a steady job. And truthfully, after 18 months of unemployment (yes my friends, 18 freakin' months!) I am ready to have him do ANYTHING as long as it’s not here and has health insurance. He’s done freelance work along the way and various contract jobs to bring the money. But they have been short term and the insecurity has been a bit tough for this control freak to deal with. And let's not even discuss COBRA health insurance payments for a family of five.

*cue Trump opening song Money Money Money*

So what did we do yesterday on our date night? Well. We didn’t go to a hotel. We decided to go to the mall. Yes we were exploiting the puffed up feeling of employment and decided to help our economy like any good American citizens. We decided we would treat ourselves to some retail therapy to celebrate our new found employed status.

*cue national applause*

I wont tell you how much we spent… but lets just say that our travels included trips to Nordstroms, Chico’s, J. Crew, Eddie Bauer, Jjill and Sephora. We had fun. And let me tell if there is one thing that my husband and I do well together it’s spend money. We are so in synch. It’s amazing. We compliment each other like fine merlot and a medium rare fillet. Like when I left him alone in Jcrew and he bought Kakhi pants that weren’t wrinkle resistant. HELLO. Do you like to iron? We took those pants back and I took him to Eddie Bauer to load up on their marvelous flat front Kakhi’s that are both wrinkle and stain resistant. Cause, well hubby is brilliant, but he can be a bit of klutz with the food stuffs.

*cue Oops I Did It Again music*

And I was there to help guide him on size selection as well. And although the one size (he would kill me if I published it) was nice and snug around his stuff and I enjoyed looking at it… it was too tight for work. So after much cajoling, I was able to convince him to go up a size and now he looks so professional. And he looked HOT this morning. Almost too hot to let go to work.

*cue Little Less Conversation Little More Action Please music*

So Honey enjoy that new job today. I’ll be here making you a wonderful dinner tonight of your favorite sour cream enchiladas. I’ll meet you at the door with your favorite beverage. Your house will be spotless. Your kids won’t be running laps through the house screaming like they normally do at the witching hour. They will be all washed and sweet smelling, already in pjs waiting for their daddy hugs. I’ll have your slippers and a paper and take your coat and hand you the remote control so you can plop down in front of the TV and just relax.

*cue cheesy laugh track with uproarious laughter*

I really will miss you honey. All that stuff probably won’t happen… but you know, like a Hallmark Card, it’s the thought that counts.

Date Day

2004-11-14T09:51:00.000-08:00

Today I am taking hubby on a date. The last three dates we have had planned we have had kids get sick, or other plans pop up, or no babysitter. So today is a big day. It’s been a long time. Months actually. We are in desperate need of alone time. Time to connect. Time to do some fun things without the presence of our children.

But now we are back to the age-old question of what to do. It’s not sunny, so kayaking is out. I’d love to see the chick flick movie “Shall we Dance” but hubby probably won’t be to thrilled with that fluff. I guess we could hit the mall and start Christmas Shopping… but I’m not really in the mood for that either. Of course we'll go out to eat somewhere nice but we always do that. I want do something special and something we don’t get to do too often.

*light bulb goes off*

Eureka!!!!

I should just get a hotel room.

Not Enough Answers

2004-11-13T08:48:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or do other parents get weary of the questions? My 4 year old son asks questions sometimes instead of conversing. Questions are his method of conversing and man it's tiring. I do really well until about 4pm. Then I'm all questioned out.

Here's an example of a recent car ride:

Noah: Mom why is the sky blue?
Me: I don't know honey. Why do you think the sky is blue?
Noah: Why are the clouds white?
Me: I'm not sure. We could look it up on the internet.
Noah: Can planes fly if it's froggy? (aka foggy but froggy sounds so cute!)Me: Sometimes Noah.
Noah: Can we go look at planes in the frog?
Me: hmmmm. Maybe someday.
Noah: I like planes mom. I want a plane.
Me: Maybe you could ask Santa for one for Christmas.
Noah: How would a plane fit in his sleigh?
Me: Maybe he could just fly the plane?
Noah: How do planes fly?
Me: (heavy sigh cause this is about question #3456 for the hour and I'm weary and would love just a moment of silence) It's complicated Noah.
Noah: (reacting to the heavy sigh thinking I'm frustrated) It's ok to not have the answers Mom. I still love you.

Shining a Light on my Life

2004-11-12T13:26:00.000-08:00

Someone who reads my blog told me that I need to shine a light on more of what I do in my day to day life. But I really don't like to write about the non-funny day to day stuff of my life. I mean, after all, I'm living all this excitement. It's exhausting to be in my head. But for the sake of a post and to be ever accommodating, here are 5 minutes of thoughts spewed out into the Internet Ether for your reading enjoyment.

My dad got his Alzheimer’s confirmation via MRI. He's only 62 so it's devastating. I need to send my grandma some pictures of the kids since she’s lonely in her new nursing home. Maybe I’ll make her some muffins. Dinara is kissing a boy across the street and I am having trouble convincing her to stop. My mom got word yesterday about having to go ahead and amputate - so she's upset. Yesterday we spent $350 getting our van tuned up and brakes fixed. My cousin is getting married in Sanibel in July so we'll be going to Florida this summer. I hate going to Florida in the dead of summer. I spent $250 at Target the other day buying stuff I really didn't need. But I did buy my daughter a coat for $40 that I was going to spend $100 for at Hanna Anderson so I figure I’m only down $150 at Target. I'm thinking about hosting a Pampered Chef Party cause I need new kitchen gadgets like I need a hole in the head. I'm probably going to have some friends over for a dinner party to have a girl’s poker night. Note to self: find poor poker players. My dog sure does sleep a lot. I lost the pounds I put on from Halloween Frozen Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups fest. My Oprah Frozen Serendipity Hot Chocolate is backordered. I’m thinking about Christmas. My prelit Christmas tree will probably come today. I might be able to wait a week before I put it up. I think Emma is really forcing herself to believe in Santa – so this will be the last magic year where all three kids believe. I'd like to plan another big vacation. I’m thinking Hawaii. And John starts his new fulltime job on Monday. Tonight I am going out to dinner in Seattle with a girlfriend I haven’t seen in months. I’m looking forward to it. Today is Mother’s Day at Noah’s preschool so I’m spending the morning with just him. My husband and I have a date night planned on Sunday. We need it.

One Smart Momma

2004-11-11T13:58:00.000-08:00

Dinara: (in Kindergarten) Mom this boy keeps chasing me on the playground. He comes up and pushes me. I yell at him to stop but he doesn't listen. Why does he keep doing this?

Me: (37 year old mom to three) He probably likes you and doesn't know how to tell you that. Sometimes boys don't know how to use their words to get attention and so they do stupid things to get girls attention. Don't give him any attention and maybe he'll stop.

Dinara: Wow.

Emma: (in second grade) I hope I'm that smart when I become a mom.

Letter to Mom

2004-11-11T11:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Mom,

I’m so sorry. I know that you really had high hopes that this medicine was going to take care of the MRSA infection in your bone. I know that you must be really reeling from the news that you need to make some decisions on the amputation of your foot. I know you are weary of this whole process and in some way this might even be a relief. Until you stop and think about what life is going to be like without a foot.

It’s going to be ok mom. We’ll get through this.

It sucks doesn’t it? That after going through the weightloss surgery DS, getting rid of your diabetes, losing over 90 lbs and having your life back that you still have to deal with the repercussions of what obesity did to your body. Diabetes sucks. I’m so sorry for the neuropathy. I’m so sorry that diabetes screwed up the microcirculation in your bones so bad that there just aren’t enough capillaries in your marrow to even deliver the antibiotics to fight off this infection. It doesn’t seem fair.

But it’s time to make a plan. I know that you must feel incredibly overwhelmed right now with Dad’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis being confirmed last week. I know you are worried that you will lose your mobility and you will have no one there to help you. You are taking care of your mom, and daddy and who will be there to take care of you? It’s ok to not be strong all the time mom. I love you and I can be strong for you. Give up some of the control and let your children help you through this time. This is what family is for. You don’t have to be the strong one. We can help you. If you need me, I am on a plane tomorrow. And if you just need a shoulder, I am here for that too.

I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you today. That I am so sorry that you are facing this surgery and medical decisions you hoped you wouldn’t have to face. But you’ll get through this. We’ll get through this. And the important thing is that you will still be around to live life and be part of your grandchildren’s lives.

I love you mom. I’m sorry life sucks right now. I am here.

Love,

--Kym

Check out my new bling

2004-11-10T15:01:00.000-08:00

I have a new flash banner.
Hubby made it.
Do you like it?
Do ya?
Huh?
Tell me you love it.
Ok.
Tell me if its annoying.
We are still testing it.
But really tell me you love my bling.

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Chore Capitalism

2004-11-10T08:37:00.000-08:00

Emma is angry with her brother. Why? Because he’s doing her chores.

Yes you heard me right. This is bothering her.

Noah, who is four, totally gets the concept of “work for hire”. He’s saving for Yugi-Oh cards and is very motivated to save. Without any prompting from me, he’s taken to doing various chores around the house. Including his sister’s easier chores. And, like any good mommy exploiting the wonders of capitalism, I’ve been rewarding this wonderful behavior of chore over achievement.

Emma, totally ticked that her brother has more money saved then she does, went on a big rant this morning about “how it’s not fair that he is doing my easy work and getting paid for it”. She screeched at him to “stop it”. He was nonplused. He told her no and then pointed out again, how much money he had. (Yes, he knows how to push his sisters buttons!)

I calmly explained to Emma that this is how real life is. If you don’t do your job, someone else could step in at anytime and do it for you and they will get paid for it. There might not be warning… someone will just do it. And you’ll be out of the money. The lesson here is that if you value your job or the money it provides, you need to do it without prompting and do it on time and well.

Tough lesson at seven years old or at 37.

Always Wanting New & Improved

2004-11-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

Ok before you new people who are visiting my site think I’m some sort of freak, understand that I had plastic surgery because I lost 160 lbs. I had “issues” that needed to be resolved with plastics. It wasn’t vanity - it was reconstructive. For some reason it’s important to me that people don’t think I’m vain. I have no idea why I care. I guess you can take the fat out of the girl but the girl still is going to make fun of the Barbies. Or something like that.

Where was I?

Oh. Yeah. Now I remember.

I am thinking about having more plastic surgery. Not really thinking about it. Just about every other day it enters my mind. I toy with the idea. I play with it. I fondle it in my mind like mental masturbation. You’d think it would scare the crap out of me. So much that I wouldn’t even think about it. . You see when I had my last bit of plastic surgery I had complications. Like I almost died kinda complications. Yeah. I forget that part. You know why? I’m so glad you asked. Let me tell ya.

For all those years I hated my tummy. I always had a rounded tummy even when I was a kid. Rounded = Fat in case you didn’t figure that out. Then, after I lost all the weight, I still had a tummy. So I had a tummy tuck. And now I love my tummy. What I hated the most is now what I love the most. That is a tremendous rush. To have something you spent your whole life hating, become the polar opposite after only a few hours under the knife.

And so now I am happy with my tummy. Well especially my lower tummy. Right above my who-ha. It’s very flat. Very cute. And I’d like to have the upper part “tightened up”. So I could love it like I do my lower tummy.

I want to feel the love. My upper tummy needs some love. I want it nice, taunt and flat like the lower tummy. Oh sure... I could try to loose more weight... but surgery is so... so...

Instant Gratification!

But I am not a vain person. Please.Remember.That. I mean seriously I could care less about the extra flab. (I'm rationalizing. I admit it) It’s just I love the way I feel about myself when it’s (aka me) perfect. It’s like the rush I feel when my house is neat and clean and organized. I like that feeling. And I want to recreate it everyday when I look at my upper tummy. Isn't worth paying a few thousand dollars for your self esteem? For a daily RUSH? HELL YES IT IS!

Are you still with me? Do I sound like I need therapy? I probably do.

I think I have issues with always trying to make my life better. I mean at some point, I need to just cool my jets and be happy with the way things are. Tell me this. I need convinced.

So.. lucky for me, I do not have the cash for the plastics. But I think about it. Maybe I’ll just go get some Zoom Whitening to make me feel all new and improved.

Incredible Repercussions

2004-11-08T07:49:00.000-08:00

So I'm sitting here staring at the screen wondering what to write about when I hear a scream from our playroom.

Noah our four-year-old-wonder-kid then yells "I'm sorry"

The tone of the sorry was authentic. And put up my "mommy radar" more then the scream did.

I go in and see 6 year old Dinara curled up on the carpet holding her stomach.

"What happened here?" I asked.

Dinara looks up at me through tears in her eyes and then gives the evil eye to brother. But says nothing. I thought she said nothing because she was hurt... but now I think she was simply seething.

I turn to Noah. "Noah what happened here?"

"Mom it wasn't me! She didn't hold up her end of the deal"

"I don't understand Noah"

"She's Bendy Girl mom... the punch was supposed to BOUNCE."

Oh. Ok. Well that explains everything.